~Ancient History~

This is the sequel to Embrace Your Dreams, based mostly from Aerith's Point of View. I would highly recommend reading this AFTER Embrace Your Dreams to avoid confusion. Enjoy.

YouTube - Aeris's (Aerith's) Theme - Final Fantasy 7 (Advent Children)

Chapter 1: Moving On​

Midgar was very different from the mess it had been five months earlier. After the Shinra building had been burned to the ground (thought only a select few knew how it had really happened), the hold Shinra had over Midgar destabilized, and the citizens had rallied together, determined to take the control back – and they did. Or at least, they were well on their way. Most of the upper plates had been removed, torn down, and the sunlight was finally able to reach the slums. The slums had actually begun to grow life again, and the efforts to clean up had come along splendidly. The reign of terror was fading away, and people were moving on with their lives.

Aerith Gainsborough was trying to move on, too. Five months ago, she hadn't felt like her life was starting over – she'd felt like it was ending, when Zack Fair, the love of her life, had died saving her and the Planet. She was surviving, though, somehow. Some days, she barely felt like getting up, but she always willed herself to, to go visit the flowers and tend to them – and visit Zack's grave, which sat in the very place where her beloved flowers grew.

Since he had been buried there, the flowers seemed, to her, to be more vibrant and beautiful than ever. A new type of flower had even started blooming, the exact shade of Zack's eyes. Aerith didn't know if they were growing because they now had more sunlight and water, or if it was the influence of Zack, somehow, but she liked to believe they were proof that he still lived around her, even though she couldn't see him or touch him anymore.

They were her favorite flowers, even though they made her sad.

The first few weeks after his death, she had hardly eaten anything, except under Cloud and Tifa's insistence, both of whom seem determined to take care of her. She appreciated it, even though she could barely swallow her food most of the time. As the months began to pass, she got better at getting up, showering, dressing – she still wore dresses, and she tried to wear pink whenever she could, because Zack had always loved it, and she still had the bloodstained dress from the day he died, hiding in the back of her closet, because she couldn't seem to throw it out – eating; pretending that things were normal, even when she knew they weren't. Outsiders thought she was perfectly fine, but Cloud and Tifa both knew she was still hurting inside.

To keep herself occupied, Aerith took on the job as a healer – she had an affinity for it, and it made her feel better, to help people (she never thought about how she'd been unable to heal Cissnei, or Zack) and see them walk away with smiles. She supposed it was her connection to the Planet that enabled her to cast healing spells without the aid of materia.

Cloud and Tifa had made the old bar, 7th Heaven, their home, and had eventually renovated and built on to accommodate for Aerith, too. She had decided that she was too old to keep living with her mother, and so she stayed with them, using what money she made from healing and selling her flowers (she never used the wagon Zack had built her – she used a basket instead) to help pay for expenses.

Aerith soon fell into a pattern, an easy rhythm that kept her too preoccupied to think. On the weekdays, she would be open for business, spending the morning and afternoon healing. People with minor injuries came in, or mothers who had sick children; but sometimes, people who had worked for Shinra, who had been burned in the fire while they were in the building, came in as well, for weekly sessions with Aerith. She could alleviate their pain, and found through weekly visits, she could get the skin to regrow. She didn't pick or choose who she healed – she helped everyone. I was something she thought Zack would do.

After 2 o'clock, she would close down and walk dutifully to the church, where she tended lovingly to her flowers, digging her fingers into the dirt, letting the smell of earth permeate her nose. She would carefully pick the best flowers to sell, gathering them in her basket, then heading back out onto the streets, selling them for a gil a piece. Once they were gone, she would go back to the church and sit for an hour, watching the blue flowers sprout above the spot where Zack had been buried. She never said anything, just watched, and let herself connect with the Planet – she let it soothe her aches and pains, though it was temporary. She still felt like part of her was missing. Then, she would go home.

On the weekends, she took a break from healing and selling flowers. She would visit her mother, who was ask her how she was and insist on cooking for her, every Saturday. On Sunday's, she stayed at home with Cloud and Tifa. Cloud ran a delivery service, and Tifa had gone back to running the bar. Sometimes Barret came to visit with Marlene. Aerith liked Marlene, who always managed to brighten her day, and made her forget about her worries for a while.

There were always men in the bar who tried to flirt with her – perhaps in another life, she would have been flattered. But she couldn't help but compare them to Zack. She had politely turned all of them down, and often times, Cloud's glare and scowl were enough to send several scurrying away. Cloud had taken Zack's words to heart, and he was always looking out for her. He'd even beaten up one persistent man, one time, when he thought Aerith wasn't watching.

She did this routine, the same every day, every week, every month. Except for when it rained.

When it rained, Aerith would stop whatever she was doing, and she would stand outside, letting it soak her. When it rained, she let her guard down, and sometimes she cried, and other times she would laugh softly, remembering how alive Zack had been. Remembering how he had been her sky, and how the sky would cry for the earth because of their mutual longing for one another. When it rained, Aerith let herself long for Zack, so much that it would ache deep inside her ribs, but she also felt alive, not like she was pretending to be happy, fighting to get by. The rain let Aerith live.

Today was one of those days.

It was a Thursday, 1:55, and she was beginning to close up shop for the day, ready to go down to the church. She stopped when she heard the pitter patter of rain against the roof top. She stared at the window for a long moment, and then slipped out the door, walking out into the middle of the street. Aerith raised her head skyward, closing her eyes, enjoying the feeling of the cool rain rolling down her skin.

Zack, she sighed to herself, breathing in deeply. She could hear people around her hurrying to get inside, and children laughing as they jumped into the forming puddles. She stood still though, letting her imagination take her back. The rain was Zack, and he was lightly caressing her arm...he kissed the top of her head, then her nose, and lightly on the mouth. He was holding her hand. Aerith shivered.

“You're going to catch a cold,” Cloud's voice came from behind her, quietly. She opened her eyes, and the illusion was shattered. Zack wasn't there, it was only rain. She bit back the tears that had unwillingly arisen in her eyes.

“I'll be okay,” Aerith said softly, unable to turn around and face Cloud.

“I brought your jacket,” he said. Aerith smiled lightly. Every time Aerith came out into the rain, Cloud would eventually follow with her jacket. He never made her come inside, and he never asked what she was doing, even though she could see the questioning look in his eyes. She thought he may have understood what she was doing, though, and she appreciated that.

“Thank you,” she said, finally turning to meet his gaze, reaching out for her jacket. She took it from his limp grasp, then pulled it onto her wet arms. The jacket would soon be soaked, too, and when it would be too heavy for her to wear comfortably anymore, that's when she would go inside and dry off. Normally, Cloud would leave after he'd given her the jacket, but today, he didn't leave right away.

She watched him, looking at her with sad eyes, and she knew that he too was still trying to cope with his best friend's death. Some days, Cloud was even surlier than her. But then, he always had Tifa to cheer him up again. Tifa was good for him.

“I still miss him, too,” Cloud said softly, and Aerith stiffened. They never talked about Zack. It had become an unspoken rule between them. It still felt too painful for her, and her throat always got stuck. “Tifa and I are worried about you,” Cloud continued. “You aren't happy.”

Aerith just shook her head. What else could she say?

“Zack wouldn't want you to live like this – pretending...staying so busy that you go to bed exhausted...standing out in the freezing rain.”

“I -” Aerith swallowed heavily. She felt guilty, making Cloud and Tifa worry...but what did they want her to do?

“Maybe we should all take a vacation,” Cloud suggested. “Get away from this place.”

“I -” Aerith stopped again. Her throat was stuck.

“That way you can clear your head...start to move on...”

“I can't forget him,” she whispered, relieved her throat was finally working again, her heart thudding in her chest.

“...yeah...I figured,” Cloud shrugged, running his fingers through his soaking hair. “We just...don't want to see you so sad anymore, Aerith.”

“I'm sorry...I feel like I can't...I don't – It's like I can't remember how to feel...happy anymore. I try...but -”

“It's okay...I'm sorry I brought it up,” Cloud said quickly. “We're just worried.”

“All I can think about is how unfair it all is,” she breathed.

“Yeah. You would have thought...I thought he would finally get a break, you know?” Cloud muttered, staring at the mud.

“I wish I could bring him back.”

Cloud smiled sadly. “I wish that, too, Aerith. It would be...really nice.” With that, Cloud turned around and headed inside, his boots sucking noisily at the mud beneath him.

Aerith looked back up at the sky, squinting through the rain.

“What do I do, Zack? How do I do this every day? It hurts...”

I'm the last Ancient left. I can heal people without materia, I can communicate with the Planet, but I couldn't save him. The thought rose up in her brain, not for the first time. I'm the last of my kind...my race will die with me. Why couldn't I save him? Why didn't I try?

The rain was slowing, but Aerith didn't want to go back inside. She pushed back her wet bangs, plastered on her forehead, and took a deep, shaky breath. She felt on edge since Cloud had brought Zack up. She started to walk, anything to get away from where she was. Her feet led her automatically toward the church, one of the only places she found comfort anymore. She trudged through the mud until she found herself on the front steps of the church, and she pushed open the door easily, her footsteps knocking on the wooden floor. She slid her boots off so she wouldn't track mud through the church – she wasn't sure why it mattered, but it just did, to her at least.

Setting her boots next to a pew, she strode purposefully to the patch of blue flowers in the midst of all her yellow ones, walking lightly between the flowers, their velvety petals brushing against her ankles and calves, the soil damp between her toes. When she reached the middle, she knelt down, brushing her fingertips against the vivid blue, and smiled to herself, remembering how so long ago she'd told Zack how beautiful his eyes were...how they were like the sky, and how they weren't scary at all.

“Hello, Zack,” she whispered to the flowers. “I've been...less than okay,” she admitted to them. “I try every day...but when it rains, I can't help but think of you. I miss you, so much...”

Zack didn't answer her, of course, but the Planet sent waves of comfort her way.

“I know you want me to be happy...I know I should be strong, for you. But you left a hole in me. I don't know how to fill it. I can heal everyone's cuts and bruises, but not my own. I couldn't heal yours. Some days it feels like...like I'm dying without you. Other days I wonder if I'm just being silly.”

She sighed, curling her fingers around one of the flowers, but without any intention of pulling it out.

“And I want to be able to do...something. Anything. What good is it being the last Ancient if I couldn't keep you from becoming part of the Lifestream?”

She waited for a long time, hoping some answer would come to her – but everything was quiet. There were no answers.

“I should go now, Zack,” she finally said. “Cloud worries – you'd be very proud of him. He takes care of everyone, just like you asked.” With one last lingering touch against the blue flowers, Aerith rose from her spot, brushed the dirt off her knees and feet, tied her boots back on, and walked home.

–

“You're back early,” Tifa commented as Aerith closed the door behind her. Aerith shrugged, smiling lightly. It was time to pretend everything was okay again.

“I know...I guess I'm just a little more tired today.”

“You're not sick, are you?” Tifa asked. “I wouldn't be surprised, the amount of time you spend standing out in the rain all the time...” Tifa gave her a sympathetic look.

“No, I'm okay,” Aerith promised. “It has been a long day, that's all. I'm going to go rest for a little while. Wake me when you're going to make dinner. I'll help.”

“Alright,” Tifa agreed, turning to help a customer at the bar.

Aerith took the steps one at a time, feeling very heavy. She was grateful she didn't pass Cloud on the way, who would pester her about getting dry, and taking a hot bath – he'd probably try and force soup down her throat to make sure she didn't catch a cold. Today, she just wanted to be alone.

She changed into some dry, comfortable clothes in her room, throwing her wet things into the hamper – she'd wash them later. Then, she removed her pink bow with well practiced fingers, placing it on her bedside table so she could begin brushing her hair, with long, methodical strokes. When she was done, she curled under the covers, the feeling of irrepressible loneliness crawling up into her chest, making her heart labor for it's own beat. Whenever she would lie in bed, she would remember how Zack had felt curled up next to her, his arm slung over her waist, his breath in her ear...

It made sleeping difficult at times, the memories that haunted her. Usually, she only fell asleep when her brain finally shut down, too exhausted to think anymore.

Today was another bad day.

But she couldn't remember the last time she'd had a good day.

 

Lol Thanks. And yes I miss him too. D: