What makes a good community?

I've been thinking a lot lately and as I am a member of dozen of forums, I just can't help to have the feeling of that the internet communities are driving each others mad in one way or another, just to make themselves feel better. Lately, I have sensed some elitism, as well (I'm not saying that it hasn't been always there, but it has definitely grown over time). Not to say that I wouldn't do it myself, I'm an elitist and I usually pick on noobs whenever they spawn from somewhere where I can see them.

So what makes a good community? What I'm implying is not "we all should be friends", 'cause there's always people that won't get along. Is the possibility that the elitism is thrown out from the window, or let it remain while concentrating taking out the all-day haters? What kind of staff should the community have? Strict and bad-ass, or caring and warm?

For as I have seen it (my first forum ever was a Romance of the Three Kingdoms one, around 2005), and the elitism could be seen a mile away even on that time. Whenever there was a person who tried to fit in to the community, but had problems (horrible spelling, trying too hard, etc.) the person was bashed right away. Of course, I can't say that it wasn't deserved as I tried my best to fit in (I had horrible spelling that time, I had practiced English only for few years that time and was all hypeish fanboy; "OMG YOU KIDDING ME ^______^") as I wanted to be one of the elite ones - which of course, went to a smooth downhill pretty fast.

Even thought that the people in the forums were quite cold and cruel (as most of them were already 18-25) towards to a 12 year old bastard like me, the staff was always caring and I spent most of my time there talking to them. Not even once I would had felt outsider when talking to them. After a few years, I apologized for my immature behavior (as I learned to spell right and act even somewhat mature), I was warmly welcomed to the "elite". I still can chat with those old friends of mine from there if I would want to, but that place holds too much bad memories that I don't want to think in my daily life. I sometimes visit, just like here, even thought that my story here is much shorter and not so dramatic.

It's a fact that there's much members in communities that are just not so caring than the others. But when the staff consists mostly of bastards (NOTE; I'm talking of one specific forum here, a longshot away from this one), the fun staying in the community is bashed right away. I don't really like it if I try to talk to one of the staff members, and they just either ignore me right away or tell me to fuck off somewhere they can't see or hear me.

I don't care too much of the activity of the forum, as long as the fellows are nice and almost all can live in a harmony (or a lie).

Thoughts? This just popped into my mind when I was thinking about some matters like this.