Bella, kill yourself (New Moon Review)

New Moon


So, even though I actually wanted to see this movie in theaters with a handful of friends and didn't get the chance to, I watched New Moon online.

(http://www.movie25.com / Davidmovie- watch 2007 2008 2009 movies online for free: action, adventure, horror, thriller, comedy)

Now anyway, for the first half of New Moon, I'll admit to actually considering on putting some of my biases to rest because the cinematography had actually drastically improved in comparison to Twilight of last year. Then even though I haven't read the books, I know for a debatable fact that the director could have buffed up the movie with more 'in between' scenes to carry the film along.

When I mean by 'fillers' I noticed that the first half of NM was all about Bella sulking and contemplating (before) initiating suicide over the fact that Edward left (like a p****). Right after that pre-teen tear jerker of their temporary farewell, the bulk in between was a 30 minute interior monologue of Bella entering states of depression. My problem here is that I was actually extremely bored during this up until the point where she actually considered sleeping with a 43 year old, balding man because she wanted some lovin'.

Then the oversexualized Jacob Black steps in. I admit that Taylor Leighton is a hot piece of ass, but I wish more people had taught him and the rest of his cast how to act properly. Whenever I watch a film, tv show, or live show, I can always tell if there's such a lack of emotion to the point where it honestly just seems as though someone's just stating their lines. The premise of Twilight is meant to be about over-emotional teenagers running around, nearly having babies, killing each other, and finding true love.

The only 'chemistry' that I saw between Kristen and Robert was when they were actually making out. Yet up until then, I felt no intensity. All I saw were two people looking at each other with empty expressions, and one of them with an unnaturally protruding forehead. I was immensely disappointed because whenever you actually talk to a Twilight fan about New Moon (the film), they either condemn it for its poor choice in actors, shitty synchronization of events, or the fact that the only remote thing that they remember is Taylor's glistening chest.

It's really awful because if Twilight 'didn't' have a built-in fanbase, I'm pretty sure that at least a larger portion of audiences (no matter the age) would be able to recognize good acting, natural on screen chemistry, good cinematography, and cuts....

-opposed to yet another addition to a franchise that is primarily built off of such hypersexualization towards younger girls that the films can slide away with having shit - quality in every one of their movies because the fans are too turned on by watching their fantasies in front of them on screen to actually tell the difference.


I wish that I could actually have a conversation with Stephanie Meyer.
I would tell her that if there's a deeper gap in successful heterosexual relationships and healthy separation between 'reality' and 'fantasy,' that she's entirely to blame because she's brain-fed a younger generation of women into believing that being emotionally abused, and only having lust-based relationships is entirely okay.


Then as for the director -
I hope she realized that Hollywood is just 'going' along with this whole vampire-obsession because its the current obsession. But once it all dies down, the fact that she directed the mammoth 'Twilight' will no longer reward her with a good impression on her resume.

In short, New Moon is good for the fans because it makes them want to have sex with characters that will never be real. It was horrible for the rest of us because it shows us how truly 'desperate' some people must be to think that sparkling vampires can teach us how to fall in love.




~xoxo
Auto​

 

I hope Eclipse is better.

New Moon should actually be called 'New Disappointment.'

 

Robert was like.."I think that Kristen is one of the defining actors of her generation."

Even though it was a sweet thing to say, Hollywood already knows not to catapult her into anything outside of a fandom from now on. Even though she was in another movie that was meant to be a comedy, it wasn't received nearly as well as I expected it to at the box office and from critics.

I tried reading Twilight, and after a few pages, I just couldn't go on. Before I read it, my friend told me that the entire time, its like Meyer's talking 'down' to you. Hey, at least it shows that *anyone* can make it big.

The keys are to hypnotize and eroticize everything.

The only thing brilliant about Twilight is its marketing scheme.

Hello, Anne Rice.
Please become our lord and savior.

 

Burger King and MTV are Twilight's whores.

 

Taylor Lautner and I would have the sexiest babies of their generation.

lol and this thread managed to hook an advertisement at the bottom that's promoting a 'Twilight Convention.'

dear lord....

 

You have more of a variety of sexual positions with werewolves.


oh ho ho ho ho.