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Kingdom Hearts Destiny

Discussion in 'Traditional' started by Remedy, Dec 31, 2010.

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  1. Remedy

    Remedy Remnant

    ok so its not the whole story yet but im working on it
    i started it wen i was 10 this is what i wanted KH2 to be like

    Kingdom Hearts: Destiny

    Chapter 1
    Restart
    Sora
    “Sora… its time.” Diz said. “I-I can come out?” I asked. “Yes, are you feeling well again?” “Well… I don’t feel exactly…” “Like yourself?” “Yea.” I was having a hard time remembering things and I was also seeing people and places I didn’t know. “Diz… who are they?” I asked. “Who?” Diz said confused. “The people in my head… who are they, and why am I seeing them… are we somehow… connected?” Diz sighed. “Sora it a long story, but soon enough you may find out all on your own…” Diz then mumbled something under his breath but I couldn’t tell what it was. “Let’s go see an old friend of yours…” Diz said nervously. “Kairi?!?! Is- Is she back?!?! Where is she?” “You will find out soon enough who it is…” Diz replied.

    ************************************************

    “Sora!” Riku shouted. “Riku? Is that really you? Your so…” “Different” Riku replied. “Yeah…” There was a few moments of silence in between the two. “Come on Sora! Why so quiet? I thought we were friends…” “We are… I just thought I was coming to see Kairi…” “Diz didn’t tell you it was me? Man I wish I could kill that guy…” “Nah… you don’t want to do that…” “Ha… I guess your right.” “Yeah…”
    Chapter 2
    Everybody Has a Nobody
    Zol
    “Riku… who is Riku? I have to know. He keeps popping up in my head!” I said. I started running, running nowhere, I just had to get way from myself. I felt like my whole life was a lie, with no purpose. Soon though I would find purpose. I kept running, running out of pure anger, I had no friends no family… I simply just happened. I kept running with my eyes closed, when I finally ran into something… or rather someone. “Ow!” I said while falling down. “You should watch where your running kid and maybe keep you eyes opened too.” Riku said. “Yea… I’ll consider it…” I said, and I just kept running. “Hey Riku,” Sora said, “he sorta kinda looked like you… maybe he’s your nobody!” “Get real Sora, he was blonde, short haired, and skinny. We look nothing alike.” Riku said. “If you say so…” Sora said. Zol kept running and eventually came to a beach. “Hmmm… this place looks so familiar. I wonder why… I know I’ve never been here before…” Zol said. Eventually he got lost in deep thought and was lulled to sleep. There he saw an image of a young guy with blue hair he was with another boy and… wait! That boy! He had seen him before! He was with the guy he ran into! Was maybe the guy he ran into Riku? Zol left the beach and started running as fast as he could the other way, in opes of catching up with Riku and Sora, but he had forgotten the way he came and ended up getting lost. “Why! Whenever I think I have found something out do I just lose it all.” He said. He put his face in his hands and started weeping. He didn’t know he was, why he was who he was, and what everything meant. He was depressed and started to wander around.

















    Chapter 3
    Somebody
    Maxmus
    “Another day of nothingness!” Maxmus said. “Well what do you want to do? Go kill stuff for the heck of it?” Xion asked. “YES!” Maxmus replied, “anything but sitting around all day!” “Whatever, go do what you want.” Xion said disgusted. “Some friend you are…” Maxmus grumbled. So Maxmus went off into the woods just to kill anything in sight. The one thing he didn’t kill was a boy he found in the woods sleeping. “Huh? Weird… I think I’ll go get Xion…” So maxmus dashed off to camp and told Xion of what he found. She agreed to go with him… but if it was a trick or something that she would rip his head off. So they wandered back to the spot where he found the kid. “Should we wake him?” Maxmus asked Xion. “Yeah… lets give it a shot.” The shook him awake, and he was very startled. “Huh? Who are you? Where am I? I was at the beach… then I… I… I… Agh I cant remember.” “Don’t worry we just want to help you.” Xion said sweetly, “what is your name?” “ I’m Zol. And who are you?” “Well I’m Xion and this is Maxmus.” Zol hadn’t seen the boy standing there, he was short, quick looking, with spikey brown hair. The girl was taller than him and had short black hair, with amazing blue eyes. “Hello Maxmus.” Zol said. Zol could tell Maxmus liked the girl. Zol thought if he got to know her, that he might too. “Hey.” Maxmus replied. “So lets go to camp and get some food and water in you, then you can tell us your story.” Xion said urgeing him to come with them. “Not much story to tell…but I’ll give it a shot.” Zol said. The three of them walked back to the camp. Where Zol told them what he could remember of his life. They found it weird that he couldn’t remember anything… but they had also gone through weird things themselves. “Hmph… that’s very weird… I wonder why you can’t remember anything…” Xion said. “Yeah…” Maxmus was lost in deep thought. “But… I do think I have a clue on this situation…” “What?” Maxmus asked. “Well I had a dream of two guys… but ealier the one guy I ran into he was with someone… the same boy from my dream…” Zol explained. “Wow that really is weird…” Xion said. She knew exactly who he was talking about. It was Riku and Sora. She was a result of Sora… his nobody. “What is a nobody?” Zol asked. “Where did you ever hear the term nobody?” Xion said. “You were just thinking about it.”Zol said plainly. “You can read my mind?!?!” Xion said in shock.
     
  2. Destiny

    Destiny Guest

    Hey this is in the wrong section. Please see the Role Play guide for a RP. This belongs in Traditional Showcase
     
  3. Kitty

    Kitty I Survived The BG Massacre Staff Member Administrator

    I think you have too much dialogue and not enough description or plot. Just reading this, I couldn't tell you what most of these characters look like, for instance. What's their purpose here? The original characters especially need an introduction of some sort. I can use my KH knowledge to fill in the blanks about what's going on with Sora, but Zol, Maxmus- what's their deal?

    I also think a spelling and grammar check would be a good idea. All those bits of dialogue, with different speakers, put together into just those few paragraphs makes it hard to read and make sense of.
     
  4. Remedy

    Remedy Remnant

    i agree my cousin wrote the first story
    and this is the second
    but i dont have his story so if you read that...
    it is a lot easier to follow along
    zol is a new character in this story though
    he is supossed to be confusing
    the reader of this story is suposed to be confused with him until the end comes which im still working on
    and ok Destiny ill post next part in tradiotional showcase
     
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