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My poem dump--please rate =^_^=

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics' started by PoisonFilledBlade, Jun 17, 2011.

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  1. PoisonFilledBlade

    PoisonFilledBlade New Member

    Hey guys, I'll be posting songs and poems etc. DON'T STEAL. THEY ARE TRADEMARKED. ASK FOR PERMISSION IF YOU TAKE THEM.
     
  2. Italia07

    Italia07 Life being a handful ¬_¬

    not sure how to rate it :/

    but i strangely feel like i've seen this somewhere before... nah, can't be :3
     
  3. ADogX

    ADogX R.I.P. Captain Unohana

    Y'know it's kinda hard to rate something that's not there :p
     
  4. Italia07

    Italia07 Life being a handful ¬_¬

    i thought the poem was what was in the signature :/
     
  5. ADogX

    ADogX R.I.P. Captain Unohana

    she said she was "posting poems and songs" right?
     
  6. PoisonFilledBlade

    PoisonFilledBlade New Member

    O3O Im sorry ive been offline. I have been really really busy. :( Here's a poem,

    All poems are original, Italia. :3

    Dancing in the sky
    Cotton clouds and twinkling stars
    Light as a feather,
    Only wishing we were together,
    Just waiting until I reach you.
    A silver beam of light shines on your pale white skin
    Your glassy eyes stare back at me with no emotion.
    A simple motion
    A wave of your hand
    I'm waving back, just to get that satisfaction.
    Though this is only a shell,
    I know I've been to hell
    and back.
    All these dreams
    All these times
    All I know is I wish to see you
    You who are so far, far away
    In the land of sunshine.
    I am in the land of rain,
    In the land of darkness.
    I know that you are there.
    I know that you can't hear me.
    I can only wish to see you
    I can only with to talk to you.
    What can I say?
    You are my day
    You are my night,
    Yet there are a million miles separating us
    But those miles will turn to seconds,
    Those seconds turn to moments,
    That I will be with you.
    A million moments
    Turns to a billion years
    We will be immortal
    Our hearts will stay young.
    I just wish to hold your hand
    To hear you speak
    To just see your smile,
    And nothing more.
    Nothing more do I ask.
    Nothing more do I want,
    Except to be with you for eternity.


    Please rate 1-10.
     
  7. ADogX

    ADogX R.I.P. Captain Unohana

    O_O wow. It began as a sad feeling then it turned into a happy lifetime. I loved it. It caught me good near the end. 10/10
     
  8. Noir

    Noir

    Lol, 10/10. Got it..
     
  9. Blade

    Blade Heroes Have One or Two

    9/10
    What can I say? That one point was because something in there reminded me of vampires.
     
  10. EtherealSummoner

    EtherealSummoner Lamentations 3:22-26

    XD With one of the wishes, you spelled one of them wrong and said with instead of wish. Anyways, I am somewhere between a 7/10 and a 8/10. Leaning more onto to8/10. ??? And what would the title of this poem would be? -.- Please do not say Untitled.
     
  11. PoisonFilledBlade

    PoisonFilledBlade New Member

    thank you! :D
     
  12. PoisonFilledBlade

    PoisonFilledBlade New Member

    haha the title is "Dancing in the Sky".

    and thanks for the review ^_^ ill fix the error.
     
  13. PoisonFilledBlade

    PoisonFilledBlade New Member

    Thanks for the review ^_^ I'll be posting more soon.
     
  14. PoisonFilledBlade

    PoisonFilledBlade New Member

    "Peace"

    Pale blue sapphires in a sea of white snow
    Where is this voice telling me to go?
    I don't know, but I do know this--
    I'm going to get there
    Once I do I'll sing to the world,
    Hopefully they'll hear my plea,
    Peace, peace,
    That's all I ask
    No more war
    No more death
    Peace, peace!
    My voice shall rebound in the canyons
    Ricocheting off the mountain peaks,
    Sailing over the sea.
    Peace, peace!
    No more sorrow,
    No more scars.
    All I ask is to see tomorrow,
    All I ask is to see tomorrow in peace.
     
  15. Noir

    Noir

    9/10.
    I like peace!, but what is plea? Or did you make a mistake? Sorry but I don't know the word. I'm from Asia.
     
  16. ADogX

    ADogX R.I.P. Captain Unohana

    That Poem was incredible. Word choices were perfect and the meaning was beautiful. 10/10
     
  17. Italia07

    Italia07 Life being a handful ¬_¬

    For the first poem, i'd give it a 7/10, for the second one, i'd give it an 8/10 at the least.

    Also, plea is like a cry for help. Well, i hope that's what Poison meant..
     
  18. PoisonFilledBlade

    PoisonFilledBlade New Member


    LOL Yeah that's what I meant^_^
     
  19. PoisonFilledBlade

    PoisonFilledBlade New Member

    Thank you!!! :D I'm happy you enjoyed it.
     
  20. PoisonFilledBlade

    PoisonFilledBlade New Member

    Thanks for the rating! And as Italia07 said, it's a cry for help.

    Thanks for enjoying the poem ^_^
     
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