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Castlevania: Moon of Grief (a DKG Fanfic)

Discussion in 'Traditional' started by Tsukiyomi, Dec 9, 2009.

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  1. Tsukiyomi

    Tsukiyomi Shinto's Moon God

    Chapter 2 part 3

    As he was walking up towards the upperdeck, Faust stopped and pulled out a picture of his family in his wallet. He looked at it and said "....I'm sorry." He then shook his head and said "No." "Just forget it." He then put the picture in the wallet and put the wallet away. He started walking towards the upperdeck again. When he was on the upperdeck, Faust started heading towards to the stairway to the docks. While walking, he saw his boss standing there with a plastic sac in his hands. Faust looked at him and said "Boss." "What are you doing here?" The boss smiled and said "What?" "You think I would send some punk to stay in Japan without any food?" Faust looked at him and then the bag of food. "Food?" He then looked back at the boss and said "Why?" Boss walked over to him and said "Because you remind me of me." He then patted Faust on the back and handed him the bag. The Boss then said "Now go." "Your new life awaits." He then chuckled humorously. As Faust had the bag in his hand, he gave the boss a smile adn said "Ok." "I will." He then started walking towards the stairway. When he was on, he looked back and said "Hey boss." "Thanks." The boss looked at him and said "Heh." "No problem, kid."
     
  2. Soul Knight

    Soul Knight Guest

    It's moments like that, between an older character and a younger one that gives the story an extra emotional pull, good job.
     
  3. Tsukiyomi

    Tsukiyomi Shinto's Moon God

    Thank you. I try my best.
     
  4. Tsukiyomi

    Tsukiyomi Shinto's Moon God

    Chapter 2 part 4

    Faust looked at the boss and gave him a smile. He then bowed his head and left down the stairway. As he walked, he saw many fishermen on boats fishing for the food of the day. Faust stared at them and said "Wow." "Its really busy at the docks today." He then walked away towards town. As he walked, he passed a group of children playing. He stopped and watched them playing with a big, rubber ball. As he watched them playing, he had a smile on his face and said "How nice." He then turned and walked towards the entrance of Tokyo. When he got through it, he looked around and saw the huge buildings people around him. It was amazing. "Wow." "Tokyo." As he walked around, a group of girls walked past him. They stopped and looked at him. THey speaked in japanese and then laughed. Then one of them said "Hey you, cute american guy." Faust looked back and said "Yeah." The girls giggled to eachother and said one of them asked him "Whats your name?" Faust looked at them and said "My name is Faust." "Faust Hewley."
     
  5. Soul Knight

    Soul Knight Guest

    So far, so good.
     
  6. Tsukiyomi

    Tsukiyomi Shinto's Moon God

    Thank you.
     
  7. Tsukiyomi

    Tsukiyomi Shinto's Moon God

    Chapter 2 part 5

    The girls giggled and the one in front said "What a nice name." He blushed and looked away. The girls giggled again and they all said "Aw, thats so cute!" Faust then laughed embarassely and scrathed his cheek. "Yeah." He chuckled and then said "Well anyways I have to get going now." "May we meet again soon then." He then started walking off. As he walked off, one of the girls stared at him and then all of a sudden she blurted out "Wait!" "Don't go." Faust looked back and said "Huh?" "Why not?" The girl adusted her head and said "Well, its because you look like you are alone." "Why?" Faust looked at her and said "Thats because, I chosed to be alone." She gave him a deep look as he started leaving again. She then yelled out again "You can hang with us!" If you want." Faust stopped and turn around. He looked at her and noticed how beautiful she was. Long brownish hair, perfect skin, brown eyes, and a beautiful face to boot. He smiled and said "Thank you, but I can't right now." "Maybe later." He then turned around and started walking off to find a apartment. As he was walking off, the woman watched him leave and thought to herself "He looks sad." "I wonder why?"
     
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2009
  8. Soul Knight

    Soul Knight Guest

    Great chapter, like the interaction between the girls and Faust but can you change the color of the girl's dialouge? It's hard to read cause it's too bright.
     
  9. Tsukiyomi

    Tsukiyomi Shinto's Moon God

    I fixed it. I had to a few corrections anyway. Besides, the girl, shes important to the storyline.
     
  10. Tsukiyomi

    Tsukiyomi Shinto's Moon God

    Chapter 2 part 6

    As Faust was walking, he held a map in his hands to find the apartment areas. "Where are they?" He kept looking for the past 12 minutes until he found a load of apartments on west side of the city. Faust looked at the nearest one and said "Wow." It was a huge white one with a grand design. As he looked at it, a gentleman in a black suit started walking out. He had short black hair and was taller then Faust. As he past Faust, they gave eachother a quick but cold glance and he walked away. As Faust stood there, he was trembling by what he saw in the man's eye. "It was.... powerful." He stood there for a few seconds and then just shook it off. "That man, hes dangerous." He then walked into the lobby and walked up to the front desk. The man standing there looked at Faust and said "Konichiwa." "You speak english?" Faust nodded and said "Yes, I do." The man smiled and said "Ok, great." "Anyways, what can I do for you?" Faust looked at him and said "I would like to live here." He pulled out his check and said "I have the money." The man grabbed the check and looked at it for a moment. He then nodded and said "Ok." Your room is 667." "Here is your key." He brought out a key and gave it to Faust. Faust smiled as he grabbed the key. He bowed and said "Thank you sir." The man bowed and said "You're welcome, my friend." He then laughed after saying that. Faust laughed with him and said "Ok." "I'll see you around." He then started heading up the stairs to his room. He walked down the hallway to his door and looked at it. He sighed and said "This is it." He opened the door and walked in. As he looked around, the walls were red and there was his bed on the ground (as are all japanese beds). He had a bathroom and a kitchen. He looked around and laughed as he layed on his bed. He then said "This is it." "I finally made it here, on my own." He then yawned and said "Even though its the afternoon, I'm going to get some sleep." He layed back in his bed and just relaxed. He closed his eyes and went immediately to sleep. While he was sleeping, he said in his sleep "I made it........ Romo."
     
  11. Soul Knight

    Soul Knight Guest

    Good job, keep it up.
     
  12. Tsukiyomi

    Tsukiyomi Shinto's Moon God

    Thank you. I do try my best.
     
  13. The Heartless King

    The Heartless King The King of Shadows

    I can't wait for the action!
     
  14. Tsukiyomi

    Tsukiyomi Shinto's Moon God

    Don't worry, it should be coming soon.
     
  15. Tsukiyomi

    Tsukiyomi Shinto's Moon God

    Chapter 3: Beast of the Night

    As Faust was in his bed sleeping, far away standing in a Shinto shrine, a man in a white cloak was standing infront of a giant stone tablet. The man looked at it and said "Hmm." "Its seems that I was right." "The eclipse should start soon." He looked at the sky and said "It should be about 5 days." "Thats when he will make his move." He looked back at the tablet and saw three images. "Those three of all things are used to open the gate to the sky." He then sighed and said "I can't do this alone." "I need someone else to help me." He then thought about the young man he saw on the cruise. Faust. "That young man... he reminded me of someone." He then sighed again and said "Oh well then." "I guess it must be the boy." He turned away from the tablet and started walking away from it. As he walked, he pulled out his stopwatch and said "Well then." "I guess the festval will start soon." He then put the watch away and kept on walking to his next destination.
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2010
  16. Soul Knight

    Soul Knight Guest

    Awesome, keep it up.
     
  17. Tsukiyomi

    Tsukiyomi Shinto's Moon God

    Thanks. Wait till you see who the three are.
     
  18. Tsukiyomi

    Tsukiyomi Shinto's Moon God

    Chapter 3 part 2

    As the man left the shrine, a dark portal appeared. Out of the dark portal, a being in a dark cloak appeared and looked at the shrine. Walking towards the tablet, the being put a white skeletal hand on it and felt it. He then said "Ah." "So this is what he is doing." He smirked and said "Well then." "If he gets in the way of his plan then I will have to kill him." He then brought out a scythe and laughed as he swung it. "THis is going to be fun." "I can't wait to see how this turns out." He then summoned a portal and walked though it to the place he came from.

    After a few hours of sleep, Faust woke up and yawned. He then looked at the window and noticed that it was dark out. "Wow." "Well, I did sleep around the afternoon." He then yawned again and said "Anyways, I should take a shower." He then walked into his bathroom for about 15 and came out in a blue jeans, a red shirt, and a short black jacket. He then took out his cell phone and looked at the time. "Its 7:25 p.m." "Nice." He then put his phone away and looked out at the moon. "Its looks nice out tonight." As he looked at it, a knock came on his door. Faust turned around and said "Who could that be?" He then walked to the door and opened it. It was the landlord from downstairs. The man gave him a smile and said "Well hello there Mr. Hewley." Faust looked at him and said "Hi." "Please come in." The man bowed and said "How gracious of you." He then walked in as Faust closed the door. Faust then turned to him and said "Is something wrong?" The man turned to him and said "No." "I just wanted to see how you are doing." "You are my first american attendee and a young one at that." "So I just wanted to check on you." Faust smiled and said "I'm doing good." THank you." The man smiled again and said "You are welcome, my friend."
     
  19. The Heartless King

    The Heartless King The King of Shadows

    Oooooo the landlord has colored text, he must be importiant..
     
  20. Tsukiyomi

    Tsukiyomi Shinto's Moon God

    Thats right. He is important.
     
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