~Texts from last night~

Warning: *GASP* Coffee is nowhere to be found…

Tea​

Zack staggered into the kitchen holding his head. He needed a coffee and he needed one now. He looked around the fancy kitchen and tried to figure out where it could possibly be.

He started to open the cupboards in the desperate search for a hot black beverage but first tried the one above where a fancy kettle sat.

~most likely place for a least some instant coffee~

It was full of small square coloured boxes and none of them were coffee. He started to open all the cupboards around. He found wheat crackers, fancy porcelain tea cups, china plates…

~oops~

…Spaghetti-O's™, cans of tuna, and other stuff that was not coffee!

He looked back at the cupboard with the colourful boxes.

~maybe it was behind those~

He took one of them out and frowned. It was tea. He was not a fan of tea at all. He needed some coffee with five sugars and three creams to get rid of the pounding headache that was threatening to consume him if he didn't get a damn coffee.

He pulled out a yellowish-orange box – Orange Mango Green tea blend.

~ugh~

He let the box fall to the floor. He grabbed a bright green one – Jasmine.

~wasn't that a girl on the forty-eighth floor?~

He tossed that box over his shoulder as well. The next box was white –Chrysanthemum

~why would anyone drink a flower?

He let this box drop to the floor as he pulled out all the colorful boxes in his frantic search for coffee.

~ isn't there at least a mocha flavored tea? ~

Zack sighed as he leaned against the counter. "Next time, I hook up with someone, I have to make sure that they drink coffee."

 

Warning: Gross food!!!! If you have queasy stomach, do not read any further!

Bacon​

He was so hungry, all he could do is think about the food from the last town, and how good the crap was.

~hell, everything' is good when ya don't have anything'~

Cid was at the point that he would give anything for that tasteless meat pie that he whined about how awful it was.

Nuts and berries were just not cutting it.

~I need protein~

And the damn fish weren't biting. He had just spent two hours sitting on the bank of the river trying to catch a fish. Nanaki had been useful enough to dig him up a tin of worms but the fish weren't biting. He was hoping that the others were having better luck finding food.

His stomach grumbled.

~I'm so hungry~

………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Cid looked up and slurped what looked like a noodle between his lips. It left a greasy mark on his chin that he wiped away with the back of his hand.

"Did you catch some fish?" Vincent asked as he curiously looked at the food prepared on the fire. He, along with Barret and Aerith, were not able to find much more than some oddly coloured apples. He was a bit curious as to where the noodles came from. He was about to ask, when Yuffie appeared with Tifa and Cloud close behind. It looked like they had been able to catch some Jumping.

"What did ya catch?" she said as she poked at the noodles in the pan, and before Cid could answer she gave out a shriek that hurt his ears.

"Eeew," she drawled. "Those are worms!"

He heard Tifa gag and then gave Cid a glare. Nanaki looked up from Cid's side and licked his lips; obviously he had already partaken of Cid's cooking. Barret shook his head but looked a little green. Yuffie continued to announce and yell at how gross Cid was and something about messing up her pots. Aeirth was trying to calm the frantic ninja and told her that she would clean the pots later. Cloud didn't seem to care, but muttered something to the extent that he wasn't going to eat that crap and went to go clean his catch. Cait…Cait didn't count. It sat on its stuffed animal with a blank look on its face.

"Tastes like bacon," Cid announced as he spooned some more of the worms into the small bowl he was using.

"I always wondered what they tasted like." Vincent sat himself on the ground in front of the fire and was a little startled as Cid handed him a bowl.

"Eat up!"

Galian thought it was a great idea. Chaos grumbled something about commoners' food. Hellmasker said they would taste better raw, and Death Gigas pronounced he wasn't hungry.

He was grateful when Nanaki nuzzled his side and asked him if he was going to finish it.

 

Warning: Reno gets his clocked cleaned by a girl

Boobs ​

Someone was calling a name and it took him a moment to realize that it was his. His head hurt, and it was not the fun hangover type of hurt. It was the punched-in-the-head kind of hurt.

Reno groaned and opened one eye. It was all he could manage as the other was swollen shut. He looked up and could see a pretty pathetic reflection in the sunglasses on the face of the man hovering over him.

"What happened?" Rude asked.

"Boob's."

Big bouncing boobs that were attached to some very sexy woman and very hard fists.

"All I remember is boobs," he muttered as he tried to sit up.

~why did she have to wear such a tight white shirt?~

Rude gave a sigh and shook his head. He heard Elena give him a disgusted-sounding grunt. Rude cleared his throat. "Well, at least you weren't distracted by ass this time."

Reno frowned and tried his hardest to glare at him with one eye. "Why do ya keep bringing' that up, yo?"

Rude gave him a small smile as he helped him stand. Elena giggled and handed him his EMR.

~it was just a couple of times~

 

Warning: addiction problems…

Seaweed​

"I'm out."

He didn't get a response from the bald man who was leaning against a tree.

"Didn't ya hear me? I'm out!" Reno nearly yelled, throwing his hands in the air.

"Heard you," Rude said.

"Do ya know what that means?" Reno fished through his pockets hoping that he missed a rogue cigarette.

Rude snorted. "You're going to be bitchy?"

"How can I fuckin' relax without any damn smokes!" Reno continued to rifle through his pockets. He had damp matches, a lighter, a business card and…

~how did this get here?~

… a piece of dried seaweed.

It must have gotten there from when they were in Junon dealing with the AVALANCHE scum.

He found a condom, a small blue stone, and a broken pen.

"Damn it. I need a partner that smokes!" he yelled, frantically pacing.

Rude shook his head and looked amused at his misery. "Quit pacing and sit down. Tseng will be here soon with the chopper."

Reno let out a small frustrated yell as he collapsed on the ground. He looked at the business card, seaweed and the lighter.

~I soooooooooooooo need a smoke and it looks like there is enough~

He took the seaweed and placed it in the middle of the card and rolled it up. It was a pathetic cigarette that didn't want to stay together.

~I should carry tape~

He pinched it tightly and lit the end.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rude raised his voice at him.

~loudest I think I ever heard Rude~

Reno took in a deep breath and nearly choked on the rancid smoke.

"You can't smoke seaweed!" Rude stomped on the flaming mess that Reno had dropped onto the dry grass as he tried to catch his breath. "You need to learn to deal with your damn cravings in a more constructive manner."

 

Warning: Yaoi, naked SOLDIERS!!!!

Game​

"I am still missing a glove."

"I did have two socks, didn't I?"

Sephiroth cleared his throat, waving a single gloved hand. "My glove."

"Why are you so worried about your glove? You still have to find your pants." Genesis looked up and admired the owner of the pale firm ass. He was leaning over and looking behind the dresser for his missing glove.

"My pants are by the front door," Sephiroth said as he straightened. "You removed those before I could get my jacket off."

Genesis looked around. "I don't see my sweater."

"I tore that off you. You will need to get another," Sephiroth said, turning to another corner of the room where he picked up a pair of boxers. He snorted and threw them at Genesis. "These are yours," he said, before he picked up a leather strap that was a part of his armour.

"What about my armour?" Genesis said, as he knelt down and looked under the bed.

~and where are my pants? ~

He looked over to see Sephiroth behind him with a smirk on his face. "Enjoying the view?"

Sephiroth grunted and walked to the bathroom. "Your pants are in the tub."

Genesis reached under the bed. "I found one of your boots."

It took ten minutes to piece together their outfits, get dressed and make themselves presentable to leave the apartment.

Genesis was smiling brightly. "It's always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed."

Sephiroth grunted as they walked out the door, still one glove short.

 

Warning: Kids say the darndest things…

Name ​

Denzel was looking up at him with his big pleading eyes and holding a small grey and black ball of fur that resembled a cat. "I just couldn't leave him."

"Can we?" Marlene said in an equally pathetic tone.

"He's so small and he'll get hurt if we put him back out in the cold, dark alley," Denzel pleaded as he petted the cat.

"Please," Marlene said, giving her best whine.

Cloud sighed and looked over to Tifa with a resigned look. The kids were ganging up on them with their pleading tones.

"We'll take care of him!"

"I'll make sure that there is always food and water," Marlene whimpered. "I'll brush her!"

"I'll even clean the litter box," Denzel pleaded and held up the cat which gave a soft mew, as if mimicking the kids' whines.

"They planned their attack," Tifa whispered.

"It appears so," Cloud returned.

"We can name her Fur Burger!" Marlene said and bounced.

~fur burger?~

"Nah-uh," Denzel countered., "We are going to name him Tiger!"

"Fur Burger!" Marlene announced. "She's not orange. She can't be a Tiger."

"His name is Tiger," Denzel said. "Fur Burger is a silly name."

Cloud swallowed and looked over at Tifa who was stifling laughter behind a hand.

"Her name is going to be Fur Burger! I could just eat her up!" Marlene said. "So, she is a 'Fur Burger'."

Tifa snorted and turned away. There were tears in her eyes.

Cloud ran a hand over his face and shook his head. How was he going to tell Marlene that naming the cat 'Fur Burger' was not really appropriate?

"Tiger!"

"Fur Burger!"

He looked over at the two arguing children and the poor kitten in Denzel's arms. He reached for the kitten and was grateful that they stopped arguing and looked at him.

"Why don't we compromise and just call her Fluffy?" The kitten mewed, seemingly grateful to be out of the argument.

"But I want to name her Fur Burger," Marlene pouted.

Tifa started to chuckle.

"If we keep the cat, we name her Fluffy," Cloud said in a firm tone. "There will be no more arguing about the name."

Both kids gave him a solemn look until they realized that they had permission to keep the cat.

Cloud turned on his phone and was shocked to see that there were ten attempted calls from Barret and a few from Tifa. He blinked in confusion as pulled up his messages. He grew a little worried that something bad had happened.

Barret's voice boomed at him from his messages. "Wha' in the damn hell, 'ave ya been teachin' Marlene!?"

 

Warning: Well, Reno is bleeding and is begging a bit...

Sorry​

"I am so soooo sorry," Cissnei said as she held out an icepack to the redhead.

~what the hell was he thinking, jumping out like that?~

Reno groaned. "That fuckin' hurt, Sissy," he slurred through the cloth covering his face. He grabbed the icepack, tilted his head back and placed it on his nose.

"I'm sorry," she repeated and did regret hitting him so hard. It looked like she had broken it.

"Can't take a joke, can you?" he mumbled and then hissed as he adjusted the icepack on his face, and she moved to help him hold it in place.

"You startled me," she said and smoothed out some of his hair off his forehead to see if she had done any other damage to him. "I'm sorry."

He made a small moan and leaned against her.

"Sexual favors sorry?"

She shoved him hard causing him to topple to the floor and cry out in pain. "Absolutely not."

 

Warning: Fapping thoughts and dreams of grandeur.

Space​

Cid stood leaning against the silo wall, smoking his cigarette and admiring the space rocket. He smiled brightly.

~I'm gonna be in space tomorrow~

His dream was going to come true and he was going to be the first man in space. He was going to conquer the stars. Nothing could go wrong; everything was planned to the last dot in the document. He had calculated the fuel and weight ratios down to the last milliliter.

~it's gonna be perfect~

He took a deep drag on his smoke and felt the excitement coursing through him in more than one way.

He finished his smoke and looked back at the rocket ship and grinned widely to himself.

I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space?

He would find out tomorrow!

 

Warning: Boobs

Starring​

He had been sitting there for an hour, sipping that same drink and on the same page of his ledger. Cloud sat with the pen in his hand and clicking at numbers on the calculator, but looking like he was accomplishing nothing.

To her, it looked like he was making a feeble attempt at trying to update his transfer documents as he sat there. She had only seen him write about two things in his docket.

She knew what was distracting him. It was like this every time they worked on the books together. They did it once a month and it was the same thing every time. He would sit there and she would try to pretend that he was not staring at her chest.

"Do you think we should go out tonight? It has been a profitable month and the kids have been good," she asked.

"Huh? Yeah, sure," Cloud mumbled and scribbled a few things in the notebook, his eyes darting quickly back down to the pages on the table.

She knew where he was looking and he wasn't being very subtle about it this time. She was used to the way men looked at them. She was also very aware of how they affected Cloud at times. He was trying to be discreet – something that he was normally very good at doing.

Today, she had also decided to wear a shirt that was a little tighter and a little lower cut than normal, and was getting the predicable results from Cloud.

~even better than expected~

But there was something that she didn't expect. His eyes were so intense today that she was having a hard time concentrating on her own set of numbers for the bar. She did not expect to be so distracted every time he averted his eyes or pretended that he wasn't looking.

She slammed her fist on the table sharply, causing the hero to jump and look at her in the eyes.

"Stop staring at my boobs!" She snapped. "I can't concentrate!"

Cloud blinked and uncharacteristically blurted, "Well, how do you think I feel?"

They stared at each other, before Tifa responded. "Fair enough

 

Warning: Nibelheim mention, so there is angst galore…. in the beginning anyway.

FENG SHUI​

Tseng was looking forward to being home. His shoulders ached from the month of nonstop, tension-filled work.

After the disaster and cover-up at Nibelheim, he felt himself being stretched to his limit, and the strain of his newly appointed leadership tested his resolve to remain a part of ShinRa.

~Nibelheim~

What happened and what he had witnessed weighed heavily on him. He did not like dealing with Hojo. It was never part of the job that he liked enduring.

Seeing his friend, Zack, and that young blond man in his clutches… hurt.

He did not understand why Sephiroth would commit such an atrocity. The whole scene was beyond his understanding.

~except for Hojo's~

He shuffled to the door of his apartment, looking forward to his own bed and a bottle of sake…

~if Rufus hasn't found it~

…to drown the horrors from his mind, if only for a short period of time.

He did not bother to turn on the lights as he threw his small shoulder bag into a corner and hear an unfamiliar clank and clatter, but decided to ignore it.

He wanted a shower as he continued deeper into his apartment, and was startled when he felt his shins connect with a table. He recovered only to feel his calves hit a chair that sent him tumbling to the floor.

He cursed as he eventually found a lamp…

~which is not where I left it~

… and observed his apartment. The furniture was the same, but not in the same location that he had left it when he had departed.

He looked at the first table that he stumbled over as he had walked in, and saw a card that he was obviously supposed to read before he entered.

'Thought it would cheer you up. I just feng shui'd your living room.'

He sat on the small table and read the stupid note over and over again. He was torn between pissed off at the fact that Reno had been snooping around his apartment or the fact that he had thought of something like this.

He turned the note over.

'Don't be mad. :')'

He started to laugh at the tenacity of the redhead.

 

Warning: Nothing really of note.

SHAMPOO​

~this stuff is great~

Zack was going to have to get the name of the stuff. It was way better shampoo and conditioner than he had ever bought. The bottles didn't have any names on it; the hygiene lotions were in various fancy dispensers that only had the name of what they were.

He admired how easily his wild hair cooperated as he used the amazing hair care products.

~it is absolutely phenomenal~

He ran his fingers though his hair and admired how they bounced naturally back. He examined himself in the mirror for a little while longer. "Now, I just got to find out whose apartment I am in."

 

Warning: yaoi… men kissing...

SICK​

Genesis was anxious and he was pacing the room. It had been a whole two days since he had seen Sephiroth and he was restless.

~and horny~

He doubted that he had been without since they started a relationship for that long. Even when they were away on missions they at least phoned each other to take care of those urges.

~I need him~

"Will you sit down!? He got called to the labs and had to see Hojo," Angeal said, looking up from his book and looking mildly annoyed.

"It has been two days!" Genesis whined.

"Can't you live without out it for a little while? What did you do before Sephiroth?" Angeal snorted and looked at the redhead. He immediately regretted the question from the raised eyebrows and crooked smile. "Don't give me that look. Forget I asked."

"You have got to quit asking such silly questions, Angeal," Genesis said and his attention was quickly turned to see the silver General enter the room. He didn't wait to say hello or any acknowledgement from him. He threw himself at him and pushed him against the wall, quickly trapping his mouth with his own. He was glad that Sephiroth reciprocated. He could be moody when it came to public shows of affection.

~ it's only Angeal here anyway. He's seen worse~

He threaded his fingers into that silver hair and made sure that his mouth was not going to move away from his. Sephiroth placed one hand on his neck and gripped it firmly and the other on his hip to pull them closer together.

~it's going to be a good night~

"Break it up you two!" Angeal's deep voice boomed.

Normally they obliged Angeal when he was in the room, knowing how it bothered him when they made out in front of him, but Sephiroth was not letting him go, so Genesis decided to roll with it.

"You two can quit anytime now!" Angeal pleaded.

Sephiroth broke his grip and released him with a series of small kisses. Genesis opened his eyes and finally got a good look at Sephiroth and was alarmed by what he saw.

His normal impeccable skin was covered with small red raised bumps.

"What the hell happened to you?" Genesis blurted a

nd pushed the General away from him.

"It seems that I caught Moogle-Pox," Sephiroth said and his lips curved in a smile. "So, if you get sick from that make-out session, it is not my fault."

Genesis was flabbergasted and for once his life, he was tongue tied.

Angeal grunted. "That'll teach you to say 'hello' before you play tonsil-hockey."

If you get sick from that make-out, it's not my fault, …inspirational text. From Ziggy Pasta who got it from RinaLuffsPokemonBoys….

Sick can be taken so many ways…but I took this definition.

Hey... I got a poll up. Which apartment is Zack in. Can you guess?

 

Warning: Sephiroth scared!!!

Hair 2​

Sephiroth had never felt this level of fear before.

He was well aware of the small war occurring between the Turks and SOLDIERs. He had been watching with amusement at the antics that had been going on around him.

~never thought I would get caught in the crossfire~

He was amused when Reno painted Angeal's sword that bright pink. It was humorous when Angeal countered by super-gluing Reno to his helicopter.

~Angeal spent weeks cleaning his swords after that~

He endured the ranting Genesis at having the pages of his favourite copy of Loveless glued together. It took Genesis three weeks to find out that it was actually Tseng that had done it. The retaliation of filling the normally stoic Turk's desk with blue Jell-O was the talk of Shin-Ra for weeks.

~Genesis stayed up all night making it~

He actually laughed when Zack glued some rhinestones onto Rude's sunglasses. He laughed even harder when Zack returned covered in glitter.

~it looked like he blew a clown~

He had stayed out of the swirling and ever escalating pranks that went so high as to affect Rufus.

~he was not impressed to find Dark Nation shaved~

After that, the pranks were supposed to have stopped. Rufus had made an example of those poor SOLDIERs and he believed Kunsel still hadn't taken his helmet off.

The message on his phone was from Reno and it sent chills down his spine. It was something that he had never encountered on the battlefield and was beginning to understand the feeling of fear.

He hadn't looked in a mirror yet to see if there was something to the message that the devil-haired Turk left him. He was even scared to reach up and touch his head.

It was meant for Zack. So, if you're missing hair this morning, I'm sorry in advance.

 

Warning: Nothing really of note...well Reno is in here, so I guess there is a little bit of concern.

INTERRUPTED​

Monday

~not again~

Cloud was so close this time. He had been kissing her and had his hand firmly up her shirt when the phone rang.

Damn that Yuffie for phoning. The kids were in bed and he wanted to play. He had been on the road for a week and was looking forward to being at home. But Tifa was talking with Yuffie about Vincent and it didn't look like she was going to stop talking anytime soon.

Tuesday

"Tifa, I think I'm…"

The horrible sounds of a very sick kid set her running to Denzel's aid.

Cloud sat gasping with his vest undone and a very flushed face, trying to cool down a bit before he went to help.

Wednesday

~damn traffic~

He had been late getting home and she was already sleeping.

Thursday

~damn that Yuffie! She needs to get over Vincent already!~

Friday

"Damn it Reno! Go get drunk at another bar!" Cloud yelled at the pesky redhead who was so drunk that he nearly was falling off the barstool.

"Huh? Why?" the redhead slurred.

"It's three a.m. Get out!" Cloud roared, grabbed Reno's collar, and dragged him off the stool and towards the door.

"Hey! Yo! Easy Cloudo," Reno mumbled as he tried to free himself from the hero's grip. "I'll go! I'll go. Sheesh. Pushy."

Cloud let go of the Turk's collar and he proceeded to brush off imaginary dust.

"Show yourself out," Cloud demanded. He turned to head upstairs. Tifa was waiting.

A hand sharply hit his ass. He turned abruptly to see Reno with his hand in a very inappropriate position.

Reno gave a low scared chuckle. Cloud let his anger get the best of him and his fist connected with the pesky Turk's nose.

Saturday

No kids, they were out with Barret. They had shut off Tifa's phone so they wouldn't have to deal with anymore of Yuffie's nonsense about Vincent. They had the place to themselves and he planned on taking advantage of it.

He wished he had remembered to shut off his phone.

It beeped.

"Ignore it," Cloud insisted. He didn't want to move from holding the woman he had been being denied all week.

But it kept beeping.

Tifa sighed beneath him. "I can't do this with your phone beeping. Take care of it."

He growled as he went over to his phone to see who was phoning him.

~should have known~

The hamster is ridonculous.
OMG! That cat reminds me of Tseng!
PUT A PIN IN IT! HA!

Cloud pressed the power button, ignoring all the other text messages that Reno had been swarming him with. He threw it roughly on the dresser and turned back to the bed. "I will deal with him later and I am going to change my number."

Sunday

Cloud frowned as Rude and Reno walked into the bar. Reno still had a bandage across his nose and he was looking as his feet as he walked in.

Rude nudged Reno who sighed. "Sorry for ruining your sex last night by my constant texts about Bolt." He rolled his eyes and gave a dramatic sigh. "Can I go now?"

Rude nudged the pesky redhead again. "Fine. Fine! And I am sorry for slapping your ass the other night," he mumbled as he looked to Cloud. He looked to Rude. "Is that good enough? Can I go now?"

"I think you should apologize to Tifa too. She's in the back," Cloud said simply.

"What!? I have to do it again!?" Reno protested. Rude simply grabbed the redhead and dragged –protesting- him to the back room.

Cloud smirked. Tifa would take care of the redhead enough for both of them and the satisfying yells that he was hearing was revenge enough.

Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.

Cloud just wanted to have some snuggle time with Tifa and he encounters so many different types of cock blockers. Yuffie and Reno….kids… traffic… life…Reno…. Well, he paid the price.​

 

Warning: Temperamental General complaining about Genesis, and Reno puts his foot in his mouth.

Tseng almost didn't step into the elevator once he saw the silver General standing there. He looked pissed, and he was all too aware of why.

~everyone knows that he is fighting with Genesis again~

Tseng hesitantly stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for his floor. He couldn't help but look over at the large figure standing with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. He could feel the anger coming off of him.

~it seems the rumours are true ~

He could see the mark on Sephiroth's neck, almost obscured by his long silver hair. It was a burn from the latest disastrous fight between the two. The whole building had heard the last argument that they had. He knew that it was about Loveless and the interpretation of one of the acts.

~damn elevator is slow~

Sephiroth tilted his head slightly and glared at him. Sephiroth was almost daring him to say something by the tenseness in his face.

Tseng knew better than to say anything.

That was when the elevator opened. It wasn't his floor, but he was tempted to get out and just wait for the next one, when Reno walked in.

"Yo, boss," Reno said as he looked at the lighted numbers.

~please don't say anythi…~

"Hey Sephy. Heard ya broke up with Gen again," Reno blurted.

Tseng took a step back, bumping into the wall. Reno seemed oblivious to the increased glow in Sephiroth's eyes as he was staring at the numbers, oblivious to the danger he was putting himself in.

~he better not draw his sword in here. We'll all be skewered~

Sephiroth made a small grunt. "I am over him. He is probably jacking off to Loveless as we speak. I am not dealing with that crap anymore."

Reno chuckled as he looked over to Sephiroth. "He wasn't good for ya anyway," Reno said as the door opened.

Tseng was grateful that it was his floor and started to walk out with a low murmured 'excuse me.'

He saw Sephiroth grab the arm of his underling and the startled gasp from Reno. Sephiroth's voice was low and sensual sounding. "Are you offering?"

Tseng walked away as fast as he could to get out of the doors before they closed.

He did hear Reno yell, "I'm not gay."

 

SCHEDULE​

~what is that annoying tapping? ~

Rufus raised his head from the arms that he was using as pillows. He looked to see a very angry-looking Tseng glaring down at him. "Did you forget your schedule for the day?" Tseng's finger was tapping on his desk.

"My schedule is right here," he mumbled as he pulled the crumpled piece of paper that was slightly damp from where he had been drooling during his nap.

"It is ten in the morning," Tseng said curtly and looking at the glass which was containing a clear liquid sitting near his hand. Rufus knew he was going to get another lecture soon. "We have to be in the science department. You need to be well enough for that." Tseng…

~always taking care of me~

…had a cup of coffee in his other hand and placed it in his. He smiled up at his frowning guardian.

"Will you be able to handle the smells?" Tseng asked, moving to remove the glass and taking a sniff from it. He frowned heavily. "Or has this killed your sense of smell?"

Rufus took a sip of the coffee and was very grateful that Tseng always made the perfect cup. "I will be fine."

"Did your secretary not give you this early enough for you to prepare accordingly?" Tseng said, dumping the contents of the cup down the sink in the small bar that he had in his office.

Normally he would have been upset at his drinks being disposed of in a sink, but he was aware that it was only melted ice.

~wouldn't want to waste my good gin~

"She gave me the schedule," he said. She had made sure that he had a cup of coffee –which he had promptly dumped down the sink – and his schedule when he arrived in the morning.

"Do I have to leave instructions for you when it is appropriate to drink?" Tseng said curtly again.

He sighed.

~here comes the lecture~

"It was only one," Rufus stated. He left out the fact that he hadn't stopped drinking from the night before.

"That is one too many," Tseng said firmly and stood with his arms crossed.

Rufus didn't want to hear the rest of the usual speech. "I do not need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule," Rufus said, taking a sip from the coffee. He wished that Tseng would turn around so he could add some of the Baileys he had in his desk. "You do a well enough job of that."

He saw the tension along Tseng's shoulders and his controlled breathing. He waited for the lecture to start but it did not come this time. "I will ensure that it is noted when I need your attention and your limits before meetings, if that is what you require."

"You do that," Rufus responded.

"You have half-an-hour before we are required. Finish your coffee and I will return to escort you," Tseng said and grabbed a bottle from his cupboard and frowned. Rufus hated that Tseng checked all the contents of them on a regular basis.

~so what if I mixed it strong?~

"Make sure you get the drool off your chin," Tseng said leaving, taking the bottle with him as he walked out the door.

 

DOG​

"Do you have them in sight?"

"Yeah, got 'em," Reno muttered into his head piece as he looked through his binoculars.

He stared at two from the strange group sitting around a small fire. The blond kid was there, looking quite relaxed and talking to that large red dog that had been following them around.

There was no one else there. The others must have gone on to find some food or something leaving just Cloud and the dog at the campsite.

Reno watched as Cloud waved his hands around and nodded his head as if he was having a conversation with the dog.

~kid is completely nutso~

Did he just laugh?

"What the hell?" Reno muttered.

He wished he had learned to read lips so he could hear what kind of insane conversation he could be having with the dog.

~wonder what they are burning in the fire?

"Problem?" Tseng's voice came through his ear piece.

"I want what he's got," Reno mumbled. "Must be good stuff."

"Pardon?"

"The kid is completely high. He's havin' a conversation with that mutt," Reno said. The dog shook its head as if were disagreeing with something Cloud said.

~dog must be high too~

He heard Tseng sigh on the other end of the phone. "You really need to read those reports, Reno."

 

Warning: Llama llama, llama llama and llama.

LLAMA​

Angeal looked over to the other SOLDIERs and rolled his eyes. They knew that they had to inspect the new recruits in the morning, but they had obviously had been out all night.

~again~

Zack had straw in his hair, Genesis still had a wine bottle in his pocket and Sephiroth was not wearing his shirt again.

~must have spilled something on it~

"I hope you guys had a fun evening." Angeal scowled at them.

Zack smiled brightly. "It was a fantastic night!"

Genesis pulled out the bottle from his pocket. "We drank beer from wine bottles and we got to watch Sephiroth dance on a van."

Sephiroth crossed his arms and lowered his head to hide his face.

"It was great. He's got the moves!" Zack laughed.

"How do you explain the straw in your hair?" Angeal asked as he ruffled the unruly spikes of his student.

"He was chased by a llama," Genesis offered, bringing the wine bottle to his lips and gave it a strange look as he found it empty.

"And he ended up falling from the fence." Sephiroth smirked.

"Stupid llama pushed me off!" Zack protested.

"The llama did not push you off. You are just clumsy."

"It was the llama's fault!" Zack said, grabbing the bottle from Genesis.

"If I remember correctly, you even fell from the van when you tried to join me on it," Sephiroth said, unfolding his arms.

"You pushed me! I was perfectly fine. It was all the llama's fault," Zack protested.

Angeal took a step back and sighed heavily as they continued to argue about the llama and Zack's balancing abilities. He looked over at confused-looking recruits came into the training field and nervously watched the strange argument.

~I wonder about their sanity at time like these~

 

Warning: Remnants and drugs.

BELLY BUTTON​

He finally had the plan to get out finalized. He had it all worked out and everything in place for their escape. Now he just needed the help of his brothers so they can find their mother and achieve the reunion.

He tried to act morose as he was being returned to his room. He had all new clothes that he knew would fit himself and his brothers, and he knew it would please them.

~hospital gowns really suck~

Kadaj couldn't suppress a smile as the door unlocked. Wearing real clothes, on real motorcycles, and then they could find mother.

The strangest sound was coming from the room.

~is that sobbing?~

He ignored the lab guard and charged into the room to see his two brothers in tears.

"What the hell?" he yelled as they both sat on the edge of the same bed. Loz always cried over the silliest things, so he was used to the constant bawling that would come out of the big man.

But Yazoo was crying too. He had his hand over his belly and was whimpering. Loz had an arm around his shoulder and had his face buried into him.

The guard grunted, "What a bunch of pussies," and left.

~I'll make sure he's one of the first to die~

The door closed behind him and he looked at his two sobbing brothers. "What the hell happened to you two?" He frowned as his plan was being pushed aside.

~again~

"Look brother," Yazoo gasped and raised his shirt. Tears fell at a new pace from his eyes. Yazoo showed him his perfectly flat and lean belly and ran his hand up and down his own flesh.

"And what am I supposed to be looking at?" Kadaj said as he walked over to his brothers.

Loz spoke. "Yaz hurt his leg."

Kadaj didn't notice the bandages until that moment. Blood was colouring his thigh. "What happened?" he demanded, grabbing his brother's face in his hands. He looked deep into his eyes. "How did you get hurt?"

Yazoo let out a small sob. It was Loz that answered, "They pitted him up against a Red Dragon and it skewered him. I couldn't stop it." Loz was at least trying to stop his tears.

"How bad is it?' He ran a hand over the bandage. Yazoo didn't flinch at the touch but, Kadaj saw his hand become stained with the blood. It must have been a deep wound.

"They gave him some pills," Loz said.

Yazoo gave out another sob and looked down at his belly. "Isn't it just adorable?! I think I need a picture because it's the cutest belly button ever!"

Kadaj closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and clenched his fist. "What did they give him?"

Loz cringed and shrugged, sniffing his own tears.

~escape will have to wait for another day~

 

Warning: Evidence of violence and sexual deviancy.

MISGUIDED​

Rude had slept well and quite contently in the comfortable hotel room. He didn't understand why Reno was being so bitchy about the hotel. It was nicer than most places that they were forced to crash.

But his concern now was the fact that his partner had not returned from his late evening walk.

The bed that the pesky redhead was supposed to be sleeping in was unused.

~he better not have bothered the Generals~

He swung his legs out from the bed and started to get dressed. He would have to go rescue Reno from himself.

~again~

He had just finished adjusting his jacket when the door open and Reno stumbled in.

"Don't ya say anythin'," Reno said through swollen lips. It looked liked there was a bite mark on his cheek and a series of hickeys that ringed around his neck. His clothes looked as if they had been torn off him. His shirt looked like it was going to fall off and his jacket was missing completely. The only thing holding up Reno's pants was his hand; there was a large tear down the side.

~showing more than I want to see~

"Those two are such pricks!"

Rude shook his head and gave a small smile.

~I told him to leave the Generals alone~

"Don't smile like that!" Reno blurted. "Nothing happened!" Reno kept cursing and yelling random tomes about the devil and the ice prince. Rude watched as Reno removed his pants and made visible a very distinct hand print across his ass.

~he must have left his underwear with the Generals~

"I need a shower and clean clothes, yo," Reno muttered.

Rude handed Reno a small duffle bag that contained his clothing.

"I never want to deal with those two morons again!" Reno proclaimed as he started to root through his bag.

Rude also noticed that it looked like there were marks on his wrists that resembled rope burn.

~must have been a very interesting evening~

"Don't look at me like that!"

Rude shook his head and threw a towel at Reno. "I am sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience."

He watched his partner's face turn bright red as he held the towel in front of him and stormed into the bathroom.