~Texts from last night~

Warning: Reno finally got some!!!

GETTING LUCKY​

Reno was sitting nicely.

Reno was not making any sort of crude remark.

Reno was actually paying attention to the meeting.

Reno did not argue with him and actually said, 'yes, sir.'

Tseng was worried. Reno was acting… normal.

He dismissed the meeting but waved Reno over to him.

"Are you feeling alright, Reno?" Tseng finally asked. He knew he could be pushing his luck. He was enjoying this new Reno and didn't want to scare him into behaving like he usually did.

Reno smiled and winked at him. "Had a great night last night. Got lucky." He then winked at Rod who was the only other Turk in the room, before he left to join Rude in the hall.

~should have known. Well, as long as it worked~

Rod grumbled, "I wouldn't call it 'getting lucky' considering that I paid her to do him."

"You what?" Tseng was startled.

"I was tired of dealing with his moody ass. She was expensive too. I would like a raise for my ingenious way of dealing with a temperamental Reno," Rod said as he leaned back in his chair.

Tseng took a deep calming breath.

~I do like this new Reno~

"How much was it?"

 

Warning: The BEST – and I mean BEST- April Fools joke EVER!!!!

APRIL FOOLS​

Reno frowned heavily as he looked at the message that flashed at him from his cell phone.

~I am so boned~

He had consulted a few of the other Turks and they had gotten the same message as well.

~ I wonder when this policy was in put in place?~

"Yo partner, did you get the message too?" Reno called over to Rude who was helping himself to a cup of coffee.

He turned and nodded his head as he added sugar to the black liquid.

"Aren't ya worried?" Rude had been with him at the bar last night. They had a few drinks but not enough to get drunk. Rude had gone home before the 'herbal cigarettes' got pulled out. The alcohol would be out of his system but his 'herbs' would not be. He did not like the thought of failing the threatened drug test miserably.

"No."

"I am!" Reno blurted. "When did they start doing this shit?! "

Rude stirred his coffee with the small plastic stick.

~why is he not worried?~

"Yo, man. Didn't you read the consequences of failing? There's no way that I'm gonna go into medical rehab under control of that wacko Hojo." Reno was getting mad at his partner. He knew he was Mr-Straight-and-Narrow most of the time but Rude was known to indulge every now and then in recreational 'herbs.'

"When does Shin-Ra have a drug and alcohol policy?" Reno yelled and threw his hands up in the air.

Rude gave a heavy sigh. "It's April first." He picked up his coffee and started to walk away.

"What does…?" He stopped talking as he realized the significance of the date. "Shit." He pulled out his phone and scrutinized the message. He thought it was real since it was from the medical department.. He was also aware that there were a couple of SOLDIERs that had girlfriends who were nurses.

One in particular.

~Kunsel~

He rapidly typed in a text to the notorious snoop. "Got the message. I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by the end of the business day, if you arranged this, it's the best/worst April Fools prank ever."

 

CAIT​

Reeve ran a hand through his hair and leaned back in his chair. He had been spending too much time behind his desk now, even if the desk was in the middle of a research camp. He was trying to clean up yet another one of Hojo's secret laboratories.

He felt trapped by the obligations of the WRO that he was in charge of.

~what Shin-Ra could have been, if it hadn't been so corrupt~

He needed to go for a walk. He needed to get out of his stuffy tent and clear his head. He looked around for Cait. Cait always enjoyed sitting on his shoulder when they went for walks. It was quite odd to see the Moogle robot that it usually rode on sitting silently in the corner.

He didn't have much time to contemplate it before someone was yelling for him.

"Reeve!"

He turned to see a very angry Cid glaring at him. What startled Reeve was the fact that he had Cait attached to his shoulder. Its teeth embedded firmly in the Chief's and one of Cait's small white gloved hands was pulling in his hair.

"What…?" he began, but didn't get another word out.

"Did ya lend Yuffie Cait?"

"What? No. I would never do such a thing," he said and approached Cait. "What are you doing?"

Cait released its teeth from Cid's shoulder and Reeve quickly grabbed it from him or else he had a feeling that Cait would have gotten thrown across the tent.

"What has come over you, Cait?" Reeve said as he held the cat in his arms. Cid looked like he was ready to crush it. He rubbed the bleeding bite marks on his neck.

His tent flap opened again and Vincent walked in holding Yuffie by the scruff of her neck, kicking and screaming. Vincent seemed unperturbed by the flailing ninja. "I believe this is the source of the problem." He threw the woman to the ground.

"What ja do, ya pest?" Cid growled at the girl. Cait curled in Reeve's arms and buried its face into his chest with a whimper.

Vincent stood straight and used his intimidating red eyes to glare at him. "I believe that she was using Cait to guard the tent, specifically mine. She somehow convinced that thing of yours to ambush anyone that came near my domicile."

Cait turned its head and mewled out an apology.

Reeve looked down at the woman on the ground. "What did you do to Cait?"

She smiled up at him and said, "Just wanted to make sure that Vincent wasn't bothered while he slept."

"Fuckin' bullshit. Ya taught that thing to attack me!" Cid yelled. Vincent put his clawed hand on Cid's shoulder.

"I would recommend that you keep a more watchful eye on Cait and keep it from the influences of Yuffie in the future," Vincent said. "We shall now retire for the evening. Cait, you will not guard my tent any further, or you will no longer exist."

Cait shivered in his arms and seemed to want to hide in his coat. Cid left with a smug look on his face as he allowed Vincent to lead him out.

"She was convincin'," Cait murmured. "I thought Vincent needed protectin'."

"Well he does from that lecher Cid. He is why Vincent won't return my calls," Yuffie defended as she stood up, brushing off the dust from her clothing.

Reeve blinked slowly as the ninja bounded out calling for Vincent.

"I'll stay away from her. She's wacky," Cait said.

"I believe if this keeps up, Vincent will take care of her for us."

 

MAIL​

Zack answered his cell phone. "Hello, wonderful and sexy Zack Fair speaking."

"Where are you?"

"It a kickass apartment. Just watching the tube right now. Armageddon is on. "

"Whose apartment?"

Zack shrugged. "Don't know. It's sweet though."

He heard Kunsel sigh heavily on the other end of the phone. "You were so drunk at the party, I was worried about you. I didn't see who you left the apartment with. Who was that guy you were making out with anyway?"

Zack shook his head. "Don't know." He took a bite of the sandwich that he had made earlier.

"And you're still there?" Kunsel sounded alarmed.

"Well, yeah. His place is cozy and I was just waiting for him to come back," Zack said.

"Did you at least try to find out where you are?"

"Nope."

"Come on. You need to your location. A cross street is best, but if mapping yourself is your least-shameful option, go for it. Going through his mail for an actual address is always an option."

"Easy there, snoop-boy. There's a magazine on the desk here… lemme see. Hold on a sec…" Zack picked up the magazine and read who the receiver was.

"WHAT!" He yelled in the phone before he dropped it in a frantic rush to the door.

 

OUT OF THE CLOSET
​

Angeal smiled at the sight of Genesis. He hadn't seen his friend in a couple of days. That wasn't unusual in itself. Not since he knew that his friend had a new love interest, as he coined the term.

He didn't understand Genesis' choice. He didn't see how one could be attracted to the same sex, but he wasn't going to stop being his friend because of it. Genesis was always a little bit flamboyant, even when he was little with his play infatuation, cooking obsessions and ostentatious taste in clothing. There was always the source of speculation among the adults as to what his sexual orientation was.

Genesis had made him promise that he wouldn't tell anyone about his current boyfriend and that he would tell his parents over dinner on the weekend. Genesis said that he loved the guy. Angeal didn't like him, but Genesis was happy, so who was he to say anything?

Genesis gave him a weak smile.

~something's wrong~

"Hi Gen," he said as he approached.

Genesis gave him a small wave. "Hey."

"Telling your parents didn't go well?" He was very concerned. Genesis parents were very conservative.

"Well, we kinda got caught in my parents' bed," Genesis said as he shuffled his feet.

"What?" Angeal's eyes grew wide in absolute horror.

"It actually was easier than telling them over dinner like I planned," Genesis said. "I didn't have to explain much at all." Angeal looked at his friend, unable to think of anything to say. "They were a little shocked but I think they'll get over it."

"They actually caught you? You were in your parents' bed?" Angeal was still in shock over that. He wouldn't dare think of doing anything in his parents' bed.

"We got horny while we were waiting for my parents to get home and the room was the closest," Genesis said with a simple shrug and smirk.

"I don't need to know that much detail!" Angeal said and covered his ears as Genesis chuckled at his reaction.

 

ODD 1​

Cid sighed heavily as he looked at the man sleeping on the floor; this odd sight occurred every couple of nights. It would be laughable if it wasn't so disturbing to see the man that was usually so stiff and proper curled up on the floor using his cape as a blanket. Sometimes he was hugging a pillow and other times he was sprawled out and snoring loudly. Vincent rarely actually slept in the bed. The ex-Turk seemed to be most comfortable sleeping in the oddest positions.

It was one of the reasons that he was the only one that shared a room with the man. The others couldn't handle the caped man's sleep talking.

~even that pesky Yuffie stays away from him at night~

He shook his head at the sight. He was a little disappointed the last couple of nights, when he didn't have anything to write down in his log what Vincent said before he would fall to the floor and sleep.

He had a journal of things that Vincent said before he would lay still and finally sleep, all of which were odd and amusing.

The day after they had defeated a difficult nest of monsters, the announcement was, "I am one red-hot leather-clad monster basher. Bashing is my business."

When they stayed the night at the Haunted Hotel at the Golden Saucer, Vincent had been rather upset at the ghosts. "Ghosts going bump in the night. Clumsy fucker."

That was the day that he started to keep the journal. It was too funny not to document.

The first time that they witnessed Vincent turn into Chaos, he said, "Need room. Spread my wings."

He particularly liked, "Pleased to meet you? Huh, gotta be a fucking joke," which occurred the day after they had encountered Yuffie. He was pretty sure the one the next night had to do with the ninja as well. "Shhhhhhhhh. shhhhhhhhh. I'm telling you: your voice, my ears. A bad combination."

He had already added what Vincent had said last night to the list before he had done his predictable roll to the floor and passed out.

"Wake up call, Vinny."

Vincent's red eyes opened abruptly. There was a moment of confusion on his face before he gave a slow blink and slowly rose to the bed. He surrounded himself with his cloak before he asked the inevitable question.

"I can tell by that stupid smirk on your face that I must have said something odd. What did I say this time?" His voice was low and his red eyes were directed at the place where he had been sleeping.

Cid thought he had been keeping a pretty straight face. "Well, it wasn't as bad as some of the other ones."

Vincent looked at him and waited for his question to be answered.

Cid couldn't help the smile that emerged on his face. "It was, 'the TV is moving,' this time."

Vincent looked around the room before rubbing his face with the embarrassment that he tried to hide from him. "There isn't even a television in the room."

Cid made a valiant effort to stifle the laugh, but failed.

 

TATTOO​

Tseng was unsure about this. He looked over at the young man who was currently tethered to a chair with a pair of handcuffs and asking for a cigarette and coffee. He had been watching the boy for more than an hour through the window in the interrogation room and was not impressed by the wild red-haired troublemaker. It did not take him long before he became annoyed at listening to the man's banter and had muted the sound.

~his slang his absolutely horrible~

"He shows promise."

He looked over at Veld who was staring at young detainee. Tseng did not see any 'promise' in the young man. He only saw trouble.

The man had stolen three of Shin-Ra's cars in the last month and had trashed them all. He was finally caught on the last one. Tseng had initially instructed his Turks to kill the thief doing the damage to the fleet. It was Veld that changed the orders after the second crash. He wanted to see who this person who was getting past their security and surviving the horrific crashes.

"He has tattoos on his face, sir," Tseng said simply. The redhead was finally given a cigarette. Rude had finally taken pity on him and lit it for him.

~or got tired of his whining~

It was the strangest marking he had seen for facial tattoos; two simple red slashes under his eyes that matched the colour of his hair.

"The boy got past our most sophisticated security plans and survived three very horrific-looking car crashes. Can you not see the promise?" Veld said simply as he turned to him.

He watched the redhead suck on the cigarette and talk around it. Tseng was grateful that he didn't have to hear another 'yo' from the man.

"A tattoo on your face basically says, 'I've gone as far in society as I'd like to'," Tseng said as he was rather annoyed that the boy was being given so much consideration. He watched as the prisoner reached and pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and leaned back in his chair. "What the hell?" Tseng said, quite alarmed.

The redhead was supposed to be secured to the chair and he could see that the cuffs were still attached but the criminal was not. He saw the redhead give a small wink, as if he knew that there were people watching behind the glass before he set himself in a sloppy, relaxed pose. He took a deep drag off the smoke.

Veld turned to him and smiled. "All the more reason for him to become a Turk."

 

HAIR​

Yazoo tilted his head slightly so that his silver hair brushed across his shoulder and revealed the long length of his neck. Yazoo was not listening to Kadaj as he was talking, and Kadaj was fuming about it.

Loz sat in the corner and watched what he was certain was going to be another battle between his two younger brothers.

Yazoo was brushing his hair and staring off into space as if he were not even there.

"Are you listening to me! This is important if we are going to find mother!" Kadaj yelled and stomped one of his feet.

Loz always found it humorous when his baby brother threw a tantrum like this. It reminded him that even if Kadaj was the smarter one, he was still the child of the group.

"I'm listening," Yazoo said in a slow voice as he lifted his eyes to glare back at Kadaj with a slow smile. "Not that I have to. You say the same things nearly every day."

"If you were really paying attention, I wouldn't have to repeat myself." Kadaj snarled at him, crossing his arms and looked like he was going to start a full-fledged pout. He just needed to stick out his lip and…

~there it is~

Loz hid his smile knowing that Kadaj would turn his anger at him if he saw it.

"Do you have anything new to add?" Yazoo said as he swept the brush through his hair.

"You are completely infuriating!" Kadaj yelled and threw his arms in the air and turned his back on his slimmer brother.

"It's one of my best qualities," Yazoo gave a small snort, "aside from my hair." Yazoo waited until Kadaj turned back to look at him before he flipped some of his long hair over his shoulder in an overly-dramatic manner.

Kadaj looked stunned for a moment as he looked at Yazoo, who resumed the brushing. Yazoo had a smug expression on his face.

Loz found himself snickering.

"You BOTH are infuriating!" Kadaj finally stormed out of the room.

Yazoo just sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair, allowing it to fan against his shoulder. "Finally. I don't think I could have listened to anymore of his babble."

Loz didn't say anything, knowing that his baby brother had excellent hearing, but he nodded in agreement as he watched his vain brother continue to brush his hair.

 

KENNEL​

"Umm, Angeal?"

Angeal looked over to where Zack's muffled voice was coming from. His student sounded a bit scared and concerned.

~after last night, he should be~

After a couple of rowdy nights of rescuing his student from drink-induced predicaments, he had finally decided to take control of the situation.

Angeal could hear Zack calling for him again. He knelt down and looked at Zack through the small door. Zack looked uncomfortable and squished, his head was tilted to the side and resting on his knees. His arms were wrapped tightly around his legs so that he was hugging them to his chest.

Genesis had been stalking Zack again last night and he didn't want his puppy to get caught by his volatile childhood friend.

~again~

"Why am I in a dog kennel?" Zack said with large blue eyes, looking very much like the puppy that he called him.

"It is for your own safety."

 

BETTER THAN​

"Sir?" Tseng looked a bit startled to see Rufus standing outside his door. It was nearly ten at night and Rufus was supposed to be on a date. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" the teenager asked, not looking up from his feet.

He allowed the morose boy into his apartment. He watched Rufus sink onto the couch and asked for something to drink.

"We have had this discussion about your drinking before, Rufus," Tseng said and stood across the room from him.

"I really could use something." Rufus looked up and Tseng noticed how upset the boy looked. His hands were shaking as he ran his fingers through his blond hair.

"Your date with Sue did not go well?" Tseng assumed. Rufus had been excited about the date with the young girl.

"It-it started out great," Rufus said, curling his feet under him. The position gave Tseng the illusion that he was a ten year old boy again.

"What went wrong? Was it Reno?" Tseng had sent Reno along for the escort to the restaurant. Reno tended to misbehave and unfortunately, he was the only one available to escort the President's son.

"No…that part went well," Rufus said as he hugged himself and let out a deep sigh. "Really well. I took her back to my place..." His voice trailed.

Tseng sat beside the boy waiting for him to say more.

Rufus didn't look up as he spoke. "We-we started to-to make out. It was going really good until she said, 'wow, you're even better than your dad!'."

Tseng was stunned. He was not aware that Sue had any interactions with the President.

~but she was a former Honeybee girl~

"Can I have that drink now?" Rufus asked.

It was the one time that Tseng did not mind giving the young ward a drink.

 

Drinking
​

Tseng grabbed the arm of Rufus before he went to leave the conference room. "How much have you had to drink, sir?"

"I am perfectly fine," Rufus responded, tugging his arm from his grasp. His voice did not betray his level of alcohol that was in his system. He had promised Tseng that he wouldn't drink today.

~but I was thirsty~

He had only meant to mix one of his gin and tonics. He only needed one before the meeting to deal with the harpy Scarlet. Tseng had made him promise not to have any, but it was what he deserved after such a trying ordeal, so he had another after as well, for surviving the meeting.

~I deserved it for not pulling out my shotgun~

And he had another one after he had a talk with his father. He most assuredly deserved that drink for not calling him a 'fat fuck' and other such names.

~that one was a double~

"Have you been drinking a lot today, sir?" Tseng asked. He hated how his dark eyes would made him fold at times.

"No," Rufus said clearly. He stood straight and stared right back at him, not allowing Tseng to win this staring contest. He was glad to see when Tseng nodded and conceded.

~I've finally fooled him~

He smiled and smugly turned on his heel to leave the room. Unfortunately his legs did not want to coordinate with his mind on this, and he stumbled over the leg of a chair and crashed to the floor.

He looked up at Tseng with his face burning with embarrassment. Tseng had a heavy look of disappointment written across his features.

"Define 'a lot'."

 

NAMING​

Angeal was regretting going out in the evening with his friends. He regretted bringing Zack along most of all. He had given them the entire lecture about over-indulging before they had left and they all nodded, and he saw Genesis roll his eyes at him.

He should have known better than to think that they would behave.

Sephiroth already had his shirt off, saying it was too warm with his jacket to continue to wear a shirt. When Angeal had suggested that he just take off his jacket, Sephiroth just gave him a confused look. They were on their third shot of tequila when Genesis started being… Genesis. He had tried to get them to pace their drinking, but as usual, they started to get out of hand.

Genesis started to name things. "Oh, that is the table I am going to dance on," he said as he dramatically flailed his arms towards a table that was by the speakers. Zack and Sephiroth had just laughed. Angeal saw it as another MoogleTube video that would have to be removed from the internet.

"That there is the chair that I will pass out in," was Genesis' next proclamation as they downed their fourth shot.

"Gen," he pleaded. He didn't want to have to drag all three drunken men back to their quarters and this was not a good impression to give Zack on how SOLDIER life was supposed to be.

Genesis just laughed and threw his arms around Sephiroth's shoulders. An action that usually was dangerous, but the alcohol had obviously subdued the silver General. He seemed to lean into the embrace of the eccentric redhead. "And this is the boy, I am going to make out with." Angeal was appalled to see Genesis kiss the neck of Sephiroth and even more stunned to see that Sephiroth tilted his head to the side to accommodate him.

Zack stared with his mouth open, holding a set of three new shot glasses in his hand. A small 'wow' escaped his student's lips.

Angeal grabbed one of the shots from Zack's hands. It was going to be a long night.

 

Tongue​

Cissnei was getting annoyed. Reno just was not taking 'no' for an answer. He had been repeatedly asking her for a date. She had no interest whatsoever in the pesky redhead that always seemed to create extra work for her. She found his slang and sloppy manner of dress far from attractive.

"I can take ya out to the Gold Saucer and we can see a play there, yo. I hear that they have wonderful packages for the Haunted Hotel," Reno said as he leaned into her as they walked down the hallway. He tried to give, what she had assumed was supposed to be, a charming smile.

The prior evening out offering had been escalating. The first was dinner, it then moved to dinner and a movie, and then increased to a dinner at Monteno's after a music concert.

She gave him a push to his shoulder to get him to back off. She did not like the heavy smell of cigarettes that always hung around him. "Listen, Reno." She stopped walking, squared her shoulders and looked him directly in the eyes. Saying 'no', 'not interested', and 'go to hell' hadn't worked, so she was going to try a different tactic. "I am not having sex with guys at the moment, so you can stop asking."

Reno's smile faltered and he looked a little taken aback.

~finally!~

She started to walk again, leaving the slightly disappointed-looking Reno behind. She didn't want to be late for the meeting with Tseng. She opened the meeting room door to see that she was the last to arrive.

~all thanks to Reno~

Reno cleared his throat loudly and she looked back at him, as he was still standing in the hallway. "Yo, that's all right. I can pretend to be a girl if ya want. I have a tongue."

 

Tongue 2​

Cissnei was getting annoyed. Reno just was not taking 'no' for an answer. He had been repeatedly asking her for a date. She had no interest whatsoever in the pesky redhead that always seemed to create extra work for her. She found his slang and sloppy manner of dress far from attractive.

I can take ya out to the Gold Saucer and we can see a play there, yo. I hear that they have wonderful packages for the Haunted Hotel," Reno said as he leaned into her as they walked down the hallway. He tried to give, what she had assumed was supposed to be, a charming smile.

The prior evening out offering had been escalating. The first was dinner, it then moved to dinner and a movie, and then increased to a dinner at Monteno's after a music concert.

She gave him a push to his shoulder to get him to back off. She did not like the heavy smell of cigarettes that always hung around him. "Listen, Reno." She stopped walking, squared her shoulders and looked him directly in the eyes. Saying 'no', 'not interested', and 'go to hell' hadn't worked, so she was going to try a different tactic. "I am not having sex with guys at the moment, so you can stop asking."

Reno's smile faltered and he looked a little taken aback.

i~finally!~ /i

She started to walk again, leaving the slightly disappointed-looking Reno behind. She didn't want to be late for the meeting with Tseng. She opened the meeting room door to see that she was the last to arrive.

i~~all thanks to Reno~/i~

Reno cleared his throat loudly and she looked back at him, as he was still standing in the hallway. "Yo, that's all right. I can pretend to be a girl if ya want. I have a tongue."

Cissnei could hear some chucking come from the meeting room and she saw Tseng raise an eyebrow at the redhead's comments. Reno was looking rather smug. She felt her face flush briefly with embarrassment before the anger took over again.

She didn't bother to close the meeting room door as she turned on her heel and walked back towards Reno. Reno straightened himself up and his smug smile grew larger.

She heard her name coming from the meeting room and pretty sure it was a Tseng telling her not to do anything rash.

"I knew ya'd come around eventually," Reno said as she stood in front of him. He stuck out his tongue as if to demonstrate how he would use it.

She restrained from pulling it out of his mouth.

She took a calm breath before she placed her hands calmly on his shoulders. "You know Reno," she said, using her best calm and sweet voice. Reno leaned into her slightly and rested his hands on her hips. She did her best to remain calm and not act to quickly.

i~~this is taking all my training not to loose control~/i~

She leaned close to his ear and whispered. "I would love to take you up on that offer."

The redheaded menace's eyes grew larger and so did his smile. "You're place or mine, babe?"

"But first," she said, gripping his shoulders more firmly. "You need to become more of a girl?"

Reno leaned back slightly and gave her a confused look. She let the thoughts sink into his brain. "Ya wan' me ta where a dress?"

Cissnei smiled and refrained from shuttering.

i~~Reno in drag is terrifying thought~/i~

"No, silly," she said still keeping her voice as sweet as she possibly could as she leaned a little closer, positioning herself a little closer to him. "I would need something a little more permanent."

Before the words could register in his smut filled brain she lifted her knee, as hard and as fast as she could. She connected firmly with the soft and very vulnerable male parts. She pushed him back so that he was no longer touching her. She watched with amusement as he rolled into the fetal position, clutching his groin and let out a rather high pitch moan.

i~~very satisfying~/i~

She heard some movement beside her and saw Tseng rubbing his forehead and looking down at the injured Turk. "Sorry, sir," she apologized to him. She wasn't sorry for hurting Reno, she was sorry for disturbing the meeting.

Tseng was looking at the writhing and groaning Turk on the floor. "Go to the meeting, Cissnei." He said simply. "I will take Reno to the infirmary."

 

GLITTER​

"Is there something wrong?" Reeve was getting annoyed with the strange look that the redhead was giving him.

Reno raised his hand in defence and gave a small a chuckle. "Yo, nothin', dude, nothin'." He took the small care package that all were required before they went into the cave.

Cid stepped up next. "Had a busy night, eh, Reeve?" Cid said with a light chuckle as he took his bag.

~what is that supposed to mean?~

Vincent, who was never too far from Cid, walked up and held out his claw for his bag. "You have something in your beard."

~did Vincent just smirk at me?~

He rubbed his beard but didn't feel anything.

He handed out a few more and was rather confused by the chuckles and strange looks. Even Rufus gave him an odd look that had him rather confused.

The next person that stood in front of him was Rude and he was holding a small lint roller in his hand. He held it towards him.

~why would I need a lint brush?~

He looked at his suit and didn't see any of the usual presence of Cait's hair. He was meticulous about ensuring that he looked presentable. "My suit is fine, but thank you, Rude. I got Cait's hair off when I took it out of the suitcase."

Rude blinked and his lip twitched before he spoke, "For future reference, a lint roller is the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard."

Reeve felt the blood rush to his face and he took the small roller from Rude as an exchange for the small emergency pack.

He left the job of handing out the packs to others as he went to go use the roller.

 

COFFEE
​

"Trust me, it'll perk you right up," Sephiroth grumbled in a condescending tone. His head hurt and his body ached, almost as bad as the last time he had a bad session in the labs.

~at least this time I didn't end up naked ~

"When I find that redheaded menace, I am going to skin him," Sephiroth grumbled as he held his hand over his very upset stomach. He had already emptied all its contents before he had come down to the SOLDIER's floor, but he was still feeling very ill and surprisingly weak.

Angeal looked over at him, placing a mug of steaming hot coffee on the table near him. "What are you mumbling about? What did Genesis do this time?"

Sephiroth growled and pushed the coffee as far away from his as possible causing Angeal to retrieve it before it was pushed off the table. The smell of the coffee was absolutely revolting. "The other redhead, Reno, the crazy Turk gave me some very bad advice."

Angeal snorted. "I didn't think Reno ever gave good advice." He couldn't argue with that. He was going to have to remember to pay the Turk back for suggesting such a horrible mixture.

Sephiroth watched and grimaced at Angeal drinking that horrid smelling beverage; just seeing him drinking the coffee made his empty stomach churn. Sephiroth grunted and shook his head. He regretted the action as it caused the room to sway.

"What silly advice did you get from him?" Angeal asked. Sephiroth really wished that Angeal would get rid of the coffee.

"Coffee and vodka are not a good way to start the day," Sephiroth said and held his stomach.

Angeal gave out his usual heavy sigh and shook his head. "Why would you think that Vodka in your coffee would be a good idea?"

"It was supposed to help my hangover," Sephiroth said as he ran his hand over his face and through his hair. "I should have just drunk the vodka."

 

NOT GAY​

Tseng was trying to drown out the conversation that was going on behind him. As usual, it had turned raunchy.

"He had a great set of abs," Cissnei said in a dreamy voice. "I mean, did you see that SOLDIER? He's so hot."

Two Guns sighed in response. "I totally could run my hands over that."

"Agreed," Rod responded. Tseng tried not to be too startled by the response. He was not aware that Rod was gay. This was a new revelation. "What do you think, Reno?"

"I'm not gay," was Reno's response.

Rude made a small grunting noise.

"Yeah right," Cissnei said, "You are totally gay."

Two Guns laughed. "Your eyes wander over guys' butts, all the time!"

"Yo, that was one time and he was in a dress! How was I supposed to know?" Reno protested.

Rod snorted. "You are totally gay. It wasn't just that one time. I've seen you staring at my butt."

"Have not!"

"Just admit you're gay," Two Guns said.

Reno stood abruptly from his chair and pointed at Two Guns and Cissnei. "I know I'm not gay because I fucked a guy once and didn't like it!"

Tseng nearly dropped his coffee as the room turned silent for a moment before it filled with laughter. He turned to see Reno look like he trying to hide under the table. Rude was even smiling at the redhead's expense.

 

MUSTACHE 2
​

Rude could feel the new looks that he was getting as he walked into the coffee room.

He liked the attention that his new look was getting, especially the girls. Cissnei nearly dropped her coffee and that pleased him.

"Whoa! What is with the fuzz, yo?" Reno said as he walked up to him. "I thought you didn't have any hair."

"Decided to change things," he said and went to get his own coffee.

"Uh-huh," Reno said who was giving him a scrutinizing look. "I don't know about it. Kinda don't know if that look works for ya."

Cissnei walked forward and stood beside him. He noted that she had left a full cup of coffee on the table. She was getting another and kept looking at his face.

"Yo, what's wrong with you, Sissy?" Reno said. "Coffee got cold?"

"Huh?" She visibly blushed.

Rude refrained from smiling. He was glad that he had decided to stop shaving and go for the goatee; he definitely was going to keep it if he was getting this kind of reaction from Cissnei.

"You're acting weird," Reno said as he looked over at Cissnei. "Ya on your period or somethin'?"

Rude wanted to punch his partner. Cissnei slapped him instead; a very loud and satisfying slap that caused his head to snap back and the sound to echo through the coffee room. Rude was able to see a very large scarlet handprint blazoned on Reno's right cheek.

Now he was certain that it was the best decision that he had ever made.

 

CHOCOBO​

Reno looked hung over.

~and smells like it too~

Rude placed a black coffee in Reno's hand. Reno made a small noise that resembled a 'thank you'.

"Where is the car, Reno?" Tseng asked, trying to keep a straight face. A missing car was better than a wrecked car, for at least there was a chance for retrieval or at least cost return.

"A chocobo told me not to drive home last night," Reno said as he inhaled the steam from the coffee.

"Pardon?" Tseng said and took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"Drink," Rude instructed, and Reno took a tentative sip of the coffee.

"It was the weirdest thing, yo," Reno said. "This bird grabbed my jacket and told me that I really shouldn't be driving."

Tseng took a calming breath and doubted the sanity of the redhead.

~not for the first time~

"It most likely was the security officer riding the chocobo," Rude offered.

Reno smiled brightly. "Oh! That makes more sense! I thought I was going insane there for a bit."

"Reno," Tseng said and tried to remain calm. "Do you know where you left the car?"

Reno shrugged. "You really should put a tracking device on those things, yo. I keep losing them."

Tseng couldn't help but sigh.

 

DUCT TAPE​

There was something wrong with Genesis' wrists. Lazard had watched him through the whole meeting constantly rubbing his hands and twisting his wrists. It didn't really seem to be bothering Genesis, though, as every time he did so, a small smile would come to his lips and he would look over at Sephiroth.

He could swear that he saw Sephiroth smirk every time that Genesis looked at him.

Angeal did not look as happy though. He kept looking at his two friends with a heavy, disapproving frown.

After the meeting ended, he asked the Generals to remain behind. Sephiroth and Genesis moved to stand close to each other and Angeal's disapproving frown grew.

"Is there something wrong with your wrists, Genesis?" Lazard asked. He was concerned. He didn't need to have one of the prized SOLDIERs injured.

"Oh, no. It was just a good weekend," Genesis said and his smile grew as he looked over at Sephiroth.

"I would say," Sephiroth said with an uncharacteristic smile.

"And why was it a good weekend?" Lazard asked and was aware that Angeal groaned and covered his face with one of his hands.

"Just have a little duct tape residue left on my wrists." He watched as Sephiroth wrapped one of his hands around Genesis' wrist as he spoke into the other man's ear.

Lazard was a little taken aback at this behaviour. "Pardon?"

"Duct tape has so many wonderful uses," Genesis whispered.

Sephiroth's head shot up and his intense gaze turned to him. "Are we done here?" He didn't wait for an answer and dragged out Genesis after him.

Lazard looked to Angeal and hesitantly spoke. "What just happened?"

Angeal uncovered his face. "Sir, it is sometimes better not to ask questions with those two."